Me and video games are going through a rough patch.

I’m either getting too old to enjoy them or they’re getting worse with each generation. I find myself playing Playstation 2 games on my Playstation 3 more than PS3 games. There was a time I knew every major game release for all the consoles and saved my pennies for months so I could buy them. I infuriated the Gamestop people with my fifty dollars in quarter and dimes every six months. Now I have to ask my brother to keep me clued in.

Me and video games have had such great times together. I don’t want to give up on them. So I’m getting a new console to spice things up. The spark will come back. It has to.

But which will it be? Xbox One, WiiU or Playstation 4?

Nintendo Wii U

When I think of Nintendo, I immediately think of their big must-play franchises.

Mario, The Legend of Zelda, Metroid, and Super Smash Bros.

Legend of Zelda was the video game franchise that made me question the integrity of video game journalists. I bought and beat Twilight Princess. The reviews lied to me. It was supposed to be one of the greatest games of all time. It was not. That franchise is more often average than spectacular. A new Legend of Zelda game does not sell me on the WiiU.

Metroid bores me. Mario is good. They haven’t made a bad Mario platformer yet. But I’ve played a hundred Mario games. A new one isn’t enough to bring back my love for video games. Super Smash Bros. is a big plus. I love that franchise. The fourth entry is lacking in the single player department, but I know my brother and I could have a blast playing against each other.

But I can’t buy a system for only one game. I did that for Super Smash Bros. Brawl on the Wii and ended up selling my Wii to get my Playstation 3.

My gripe with Nintendo is that they’re still searching for their next step. They add these gimmicks that aren’t it and it boggles down the system. Motion controls were adequate at best on the Wii and a hindrance more often than not. I wish they’d release a standard console like the Gamecube and Nintendo 64 were.

Games on WiiU I want now:
Super Smash Bros. for Wii U

Future Games on WiiU I want to check out:
Star Fox

Pickings are slim in Nintendo’s camp.

Microsoft Xbox One

Microsoft never has anything I want and this generation is the same. I haven’t owned any of their systems. And I probably never will. Halo was fun until Halo 3. Now there’s like twelve of them. I wish Sega was still making consoles.

Games I want for Xbox One:

Future Games I Might Want:

The streak of zero Microsoft systems continues.

The PS3 disappointed me. I expected them to take everything that made the PS2 good and beef it up. Instead the prices increased, the graphics looked better, but the games were not as good. The content was lacking or had to purchased in the shop. The focus moved away from making great games and to making cinematic experiences. That trend continues.

I own all of Sony’s consoles besides the Vita which I have no plans on buying. I’m not a huge fan of what Sony is doing these days. They refuse to make Ape Escape 4 and for that they gain my ire. But it will have the games I want.

Kingdom Hearts 3 and Metal Gear Solid V are the only games I’m excited for right now and they’re both coming out for PS4. Also Xbox One, but that’s just a no-no.

Future Games
Tales of Something (They have to make one.)
Kingdom Hearts 3
Metal Gear Solid V
Final Fantasy XV
Final Fantasy Type 0 HD
Ape Escape 4 (If they don’t make it, I’m

So by default, it seems a Playstation 4 is in my future. That’s 400 dollars plus New Jersey State tax.

I’ll start looking for some bundles.




Sony can’t win.

Sony announces female leads for new Ghostbusters reboot.

People are angry.

Sony announces they’ll have a male-focused reboot too.

People are angry.

No matter what Sony does with Ghostbusters, nobody is happy.

Except for Channing Tatum. He’s happy because he gets to star in a Ghostbusters movie. Congrats on being the only person happy, Mr. Tatum.

I was against any more Ghostbusters beyond a cartoon or comic book series. Ghostbusters is stupendous comedy film. It has aged great. Ghostbusters 2 was not up to par but it’s in the upper echelon of afternoon Comedy Central movies so it wasn’t a complete failure. With the death of Harold Ramis, Ghostbusters 3 is a depressing venture. It seemed best to let the franchise lie.

But money always makes a way. So here we are in 2015 with not one but two Ghostbusters reboots on the way. I’m going to refer to the female led version as Chickbusters and the male focused one as Dudebusters henceforth.

Chickbusters pissed me off initially because of Melissa McCarthy. Once it was announced, I knew she’d be in it and I’m not a fan of her style of comedy. I wouldn’t call it comedy even. The rest of the cast I’m not familiar with, maybe they can salvage that film. Paul Feig offers some encouragement. Anyone behind Freaks and Geeks is a person I can get behind. But Melissa McCarthy is a lot to overcome.

Now Dudebusters has the Russo Brothers directing. They directed Captain America: Winter Soldier and I thought that movie kicked a lot of ass. In fact it kicked the most ass of 2014. I’m neutral on Tatum. I don’t seek out movies with him in it, but I don’t hate him in movies he is in. He’s not a minus like Ms. McCarthy.

I’m making two sure bets about these movies. Neither will be better than the original Ghostbusters. And nobody will be happy with either of them after they’re released except for Channing Tatum.

What Sony should do is make an all-black version next called Ghostbustas with Busta Rhymes in the lead role. That’s where the real money is.

Sony Wises Up! Spike in Playstation All Stars Battle Royale!

When it comes to video games, I have a very peculiar taste. I don’t like playing games online other than Team Fortress 2. I don’t like the majority of the big games that come out these days.  I’m one of very few people who are very happy that Spike from Sony’s Ape Escape series made it into Sony Playstation All Stars Battle Royale.

I’d love to see Sony finally make an Ape Escape 4 but it most likely isn’t in the cards. Catching silly monkeys while traveling through time and space just doesn’t appeal to today’s average gamer who would rather shoot guns at people online. It sucks to have an interest in things that the majority of people don’t. There’s not as much money in making the games that appeal to me.

I’ve been a fan of the Ape Escape series since the first game. A friend of mine brought it over during a sleep over. He told me that we couldn’t just use any old Playstation controller. We had to use the Dualshock, Sony’s new controller. You couldn’t play Ape Escape without it. The controller blew my young mind away. I still think Sony’s DualShock controllers are among the best in the game industry.

We spent the night playing Ape Escape. Boy oh boy. I had so much fun chasing monkeys around levels with a net and using a hula hoop to speed up. That sleep over is one of my favorite child hood memories. My friend moved away shortly after that. I still replay Ape Escape or its sequels at least once a year. It’s an indulgence in nostalgia for me. Seeing Spike end up in one of Sony’s big games for the year makes me glad. It’s nice that the franchise hasn’t been forgotten even though it really doesn’t have a place in Sony’s current plans.

Spike standing next to the likes of Kratos in this new game really shows the contrast between the direction of Sony now and how it used to be. Kratos is a murderous demi-god who killed his own wife and child before setting off on a vengeful journey filled with blood, sex, and gratituitos violence. Spike is just a kid whose job it was to catch monkeys wearing pants.

Gamers are Grade A suckers!

I’m convinced they are the biggest suckers in the entire consumer industry. Ed, Edd, N Eddy should have went into the video game business, they’d be living in a town made of jaw breakers!

The video game industry is making oodles of cash. So much fucking money. More than the movie industry.

Why are gamers suckers?

Exhibit A: Defending the prevalence of locked out content in today’s gaming industry.

I remember back when I was a kid. You played a game and there were this thing

What was it called again? Oh yeah. Unlockable content. You beat the game or did some special mission, and wham bam. You could play as Spider-man wearing a paperbag over his head. Sham Zam! You could unlock Fred Durst. You didn’t have to buy it at a special place during the first week the game came out.

It was in the game already. Now? Your ass better make sure to preorder it at Gamestop. Of course then you won’t be able to get the costume at Amazon. Or the exclusive UK costume. Content you can never have. Is whiny to complain about two costumes? For 60 dollars, they better be jam packing these games to the brim with content.

I hear gamers say that developers need to do this to entice first day purchases. Whatever happened to including a booklet? Or a special figure? Too expensive? When your industry makes so much damn money, you really have to scrap for that preorder bonus money? Or the cash you get when people end up having to buy it when you release it later. The suckers who don’t release it was done and available on the same day as the game but was left out intentionally.

The worst are the dummyheads who buy map packs. Psst. Hey. You. Yes. You. Stop it. Cut it out now. $15 for a couple maps? Why are you such a sucker?

The thing I hate is that years from now all these games with locked out content that you have to download an unlock key will one day have those servers go down. Content forever lost because of the greedy fucks and the sucker consumers who just gobble it up.

Exhibit B: Giving up Consumer Rights

You know how you can sell a car after you buy it? You can sell a fork after you buy it? You can sell a book after you read it? You can sell a movie after you’ve watched it? Well the game industry wants a piece of that cut when it comes to selling used video games.

And people think they deserve it? What class A suckers!! They believe that you only own the license to play one of their games and thus they deserve a cut.

Only in the game industry because gamers just sit back and let the companies push their shit in!

Oh God? New Call of Duty! 60 bucks? Xbox Live went up? Who cares? Just take my money. What’s that? If I buy it used, I can’t get all the content? Who cares I don’t buy it used, I love you forever. Hmm? You want it to be so that once I play a game disc, it can never be played again? Sure. I only play games once.

Such Suckers.

Sony’s E3 Press Conference

I own a Playstation 3 so I have to watch the Sony Press Conference. Last year wasn’t too good, but this year I felt it was a bit stronger.

The presentation started with a Montage of games currently on the PS3 and PSP. Nothing too special

Sony then came out and apologized for PSN being down as many expected. They showcased Uncharted 3 next which looks very similar to the second one. They played it safe, not straying too far from the formula that led to the success of the second one. Uncharted is the only shooter series I still kinda like. I think it’s still pretty fresh but it’s become a cash cow so that won’t last for long.

Next there was a demo of Resistance 3 which seemed okay. I’m not a big fan of the series.

Playstation move was showcased next with games like NBA 2k 2012, and Dead Men’s Quest. I’m not going to buy a Playstation Move. I don’t support the current trend towards motion gaming.

There was a Starhawk trailer shown and a trailer for a new Sly Cooper, Sly Cooper: Thieves in time.

New Bioshock came on next and I thought it looked better than most shooters on the market today. It has visuals that are different than the brown and bloom evident in shooters today. Though the motion sensing dick sucking that came on next, pissed me off.

A person working on Bioshock said he was called into an office by Sony for badmouthing motion controls. He then said they changed his mind about motion controls because they make his story more accessible to nongamers.

Saints Row 3 was shown as well as a new Star Trek game. SSX will return and tehre will be a New Need for Speed game.  Battlefield 3 for Playstation 3 will be bundled with an older Battlefield game. None of this interested me

Playstation Vita was officially debuted with several games for it including Uncharted, Street Fighter X Tekken, and some crap. The price for the Wifi Version was 250 dollars. There will be a 3G version available for people with AT&T for 300 dollars and it comes with a data plan.

E3 Grade: B-

What I liked: PS Vita’s price, Uncharted 3, variety of game genres shown

What I didn’t like: Motion sensing dick sucking. 3D pushing. No Ape Escape 4!! Uncharted franchise getting milked

Overall Impressions: I see that Sony is trying to push 3D and motion sensing. I think they’re useless gimmicks but there’s money in it. I wasn’t bored like I was during Microsoft’s. Not many games I was interested in. I like Uncharted but I think they are pushing them out too fast. They may run out of ideas.

The lack of another Ape Escape greatly disturbed me. They also didn’t announce any new PSP games so I guess the system is done. It was alright. Not great. I wasn’t excited after watching it. PS Vita looks alright.