I want to talk about the word, “slut”. “Slut” is a great word. I don’t get to use it often. It slides out of the mouth and has a nice kick to it. It’s one of the tamer vulgar words. You can slip it into a PG movie. I put it in the same class as crap and damn. Those are the words a first grader learns and becomes the coolest kid in class.

I am a believer that no words are bad words. People misuse them overtime and they become considered bad words.

From what I can remember from eighth grade lunch, a “slut” was a girl who was too sexually loose, or wore short clothes or danced with her butt in the air, or rejected you for your romantic advances. It was also used to describe just girls in general. Because it made you cool to use the word.

Most of the time it’s about a girl being too sexually loose. Not for dudes. If a guy is called a slut, it’s a joke. You slap your knee after you say it. But for a girl, it’s said with contempt. There is that double standard.

Dude gets lots of chicks and he’s like the bomb. But if a girl does it, she’s not the bomb.

My understanding of this was that it’s generally accepted that dudes gotta try harder than the ladies for one night stands. Some dude don’t like seeing women out there having a good time while they’re struggling. It’s like how people don’t like it when teams run up the score in sports games. Guy can’t handle the girl doing all that so he’s gotta insult her.

Sexual Diseases are also a fear people have. So some dudes and women-ladies label the loose girls to warn others even if they don’t have a disease. It’s not cool to do that.

And some men associate many different sexual partners with an inability to commit.I don’t know if the science is there, but I can understand skepticism. If you’re searching for a lifetime partner and the other person has been with a lot of people, you might be wary of their ability to commit to you.

Should people be judged by their sexual history? I think so. It’s a part of who they are. They made their decisions. They should just own it. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. It doesn’t make you a horrible person unless you slept with Bill Lumberg. Then you deserve to suffer for the rest of your sorry existence.

Should people be made to feel bad or shamed for their sexual history? Probably not. But it’s going to happen. That’s nature.

Or nurture. One of those.

Words only have power if we give them power though. It’s how you take in that information. You can’t let a bunch of losers like get you down by saying things about you.

This was a blog post. I’m done now.


The World’s Oldest Profession

So the other day I’m vacuuming my house and moving around furniture, and this question surfaces to the top of my mind. It might have been because Law and Order:SVU was on.


Why is prostitution illegal? Why does the government need to stop two consenting adults from having sex if money is exchanged?

A person can pay two people to have sex on tape for a porn video. The government has no issue there. They’ll gladly take their tax money. But if you take the camera and director away, the government now has their eye in that bedroom. If there is an exchange of money, someone is going to prison.

Strip clubs exist. Money can be exchanged for sexual arousal. You can pay to gaze at naked women swinging around on poles. And in the back, you can pay more for an erotic lap dance with sexual contact.

What is it about penetrative sex that the government has a problem with? What is there to fear about legalized prostitution?

With that industry regulated, sex workers are now safer. They are now protected by the government and away from their dangerous pimps. Their clients are no longer criminals sneaking around in the dead of night. Sexually transmitted diseases won’t be a problem for either party if the government is able to give regular tests. What is there to fear?

Beyond adherence to the morals of religion, I can’t think of a single legitimate reason. But I know brothels will not become commonplace around this country any time soon.

It’s political suicide for anyone to champion this. It might be easier for a female politician, but would any be willing to risk alienating potential supporters? Could they gain ground at the national level fight for legalized prostitution?


The Surprising History of Sex and Love


I’m in the midst of researching for a novel I want to write sometime this year. It’s been bugging me for the past year and a half. I’ve been watching and taking notes on documentaries about love, sexuality, marriage, and divorce.

This documentary is a very solid one. It’s a quick trip through the history of mankind’s relationship with sex and love. Have you ever wondered where the concept of “hot blondes” comes from? Have you ever wondered which cereal was invented to deter masturbation? You’ll want to watch this.

It’s crazy how sex was once out in the open and then became a shameful act. Some dude decided this biological urge was wrong. And then everyone had to follow that dude’s rules for hundreds of years. That sentiment lingers today.

Cultural inertia is a powerful force.

Last night on the Walking Dead…

The Walking Dead is a visceral hard-hitting show. There’s head decapitations, people being ripped to pieces, and body parts being hacked off every week. I love it. There was this one scene during last night’s episode, (Spoiler Alert) that made me think for a moment.

Maggie, a female character, was told to take her top off. The camera shows her back once she gets her bra off. She covers up her breasts with her hands for the rest of the scenes with her. I couldn’t help but think of all the stuff this show has done.

We’ve seen a cool horse be horribly devoured by a pack of walkers. I watched Rick shoot a zombie version of a little girl that they were searching for. Shane shot Otis and left him behind to be eaten by a pack of zombies. I’ve seen Carl be shot. The viewers watched Laurie be brutally cut open with a knife. In the season opener, Hershell’s leg is cut off in a scene that had a room of grown men cringe.

But we can never be shown a human female nipple. That’s just weird to me. I’m not demanding it. I’m not angry about them not showing it. I understand why. It’s just somewhat funny that we can see the absolute worst violence on TV yet the Walking Dead can never show us that part of the human body.

I liked this episode.

This season has been the strongest so far for the show. It does suffer from the one character’s plot is less interesting than the other’s syndrome with Andrea in the Governor’s camp and Rick in the prison. That’s nothing major. I look forward to next week’s midseason finale and the future of the series.

Defining Gender

Men are men and women are women, right? It’s more complicated than that. Apparently it can be offensive to refer to what you believe to be a man as a man.  Yesterday I came across this picture and I failed to grasp it. Gender as a range of expression or personal identity? Hmm. It’s strange. Not in a “you’re breaking the traditional rules of society and must be punished,” but something else.

I don’t hate anyone for wanting to change their genitalia, but I can’t consider them by the gender they wish to be defined by. I don’t think this is something that can be changed. I mentioned my position during a discussion on Facebook and I was called intolerant, bigot,  hateful, and worst of all not nice. My position discriminates against transsexual people. I’ve taken a look back and thought to myself, ” Am I an intolerant, ignorant bigot who hates transsexual people because I refuse to call them by the gender they want?”

Gender and sex are different. Sex is the biological differences that define men and women. Gender is the role that society dictates for a person based on their sex. Men are supposed to X and women are supposed to be Y. I only see the biological. No matter how much a person plays a certain gender role and wants that to be their identity, I still see them falling under the curtain of their biology. I’m not trying to define them by their biology and saying they can only do what society dictates is correct. They can’t escape their biology just because they want to play a different role.

To better explain this, I think a man who wears what is traditionally seen as women’s clothing regularly as still a man. I think a man who has their genitals removed and has women’s genitals attached is still a man. This is a permanent label. Much like how we can’t escape our label of human, we can’t escape the label of our sex. The problem isn’t the label. It’s what society sees as normal behavior for that label. People can’t jump to another gender because they want to.  Facts are facts. Men are men. Women are women. You can’t change them because you want to. These aren’t labels that can be moved.

In the discussion, it was stated that I would offend transsexual people by referring to them by the sex that I believe they truly are. So if I called a woman who believed herself to be a man, a woman, I would be offending them and I’d be part of the problem. It’s unfortunate but I will not change the way I feel about this.

In Toy Story, Buzz Lightyear thinks he’s the real Buzz Lightyear and not a toy. Was it offensive to Buzz when Woody to called him a toy? Yes. It wouldn’t make Buzz any less of a toy if Woody played along with him. He’ll never be an actual space ranger. He’s a toy. T-O-Y. Toy. I’m not saying you should go up to people who feel that they are another gender and tell them to not act that way. They can express themselves how they want to and live their lives doing whatever. The traditional gender roles are dying out. Men can do whatever. Women can do whatever. They don’t have to play into roles. They just have labels.