Flash On.

“Just so you know, those camo pants clash with that shirt.”

This girl in ninth grade said this to me. She was mistaken. My clothes weren’t supposed to match. I wanted to wear camo pants to feel like I was in the army. I had a blue shirt so I could be as calm as a clear blue sky.

She should have minded her business.

I’m not a fashion person. I know the dos and don’t because there was a few months where I was doing research for an unoriginal rip-off The Devil Wears Prada I was going to write. I had to come up with wardrobes for all the characters. It was an enjoyable nightmare. I might go back to that script someday.

I have a philosophy about what clothes I buy. I find the most generic bland forgettable cheap clothing and wear them until they are worn out. It’s much easier to get away with not tipping when you’re forgettable.

I also buy clothes to support bands and shows that I’m into. I wear wrestling shirts occasionally as bait to find wrestling fans. It’s worked out pretty well. I was mobbed by people in Summer 2011 when I wore my CM Punk Best in the World shirt.

And I always make sure to buy the most obnoxiousness straight edge shirts.

Like this one.

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This shirt is hilarious to me. My best buddy once told me that it’s fine to be straight edge just don’t throw it in people’s faces and be a jerk. U bought this shirt with him in mind. This shirt is throwing straight edge in people’s faces. I think it’s hilarious. Just the word over and over again then in red font in the middle.

I’ve been looking for a straight edge shirt to top this. It might end up being this one here.

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But this might be funny to other people and not just me. And I don’t know if I want that.

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Four Years Gone.

Today marks the fourth anniversary of my blog. How the hell have I been doing this for four years now?

On this fourth anniversary, I’m going to ask myself the most important question a person can ask themselves.

What would make me happy?

Finances

I want to get rid of my student loan. I don’t like debt. I want it dead and gone. I’d be be much happier living in a box with no debt than living in a mansion with debt. I can’t wait to have this weight lifted off my chest. I don’t want a big house. I don’t need a nice car. I want to make enough money to live well and buy some stuff I don’t need. I don’t need a movie theater in my house, but having one would be nice.

Location

I’ve spent enough time in New Jersey. This state is fine to raise a family in, but I want to get out there. Burbank, California is the goal for me right now. I’m hoping that by 28, I’m out of this state. I’ll be happy leaving America too. I’ll see if I can spend some time up in Canada. Maybe I’ll move out to Seattle.

Career

I made a promise to myself. I can fail at every other aspect of my life, but not the writing part. I will publish books and I will break into Hollywood if it takes me the rest of my natural life. If I let that dream go, I will have failed at my purpose in life. I can’t compromise that. Nothing comes before that.

Home
I want to retire to log cabin in the woods and live off the land. I’ve had this want for some time now. I wish I knew where it came from. I don’t know anything about gardening. But I believe I could find some peace of mind away from the world. I don’t want to spend my last days in a city or suburbs. I’ll move to one of the middle states.

I’m thankful that I know exactly what I want out of life at age 23. It’s all about gaining the resources to make those things happen. Baring any accidental death, I’m banking on getting twenty-seven more years out of life. Anything beyond that is extra time in the log cabin. I want to accomplish everything by the age of fifty.

Won’t be easy.

A Silent Man.

“You’re a quiet guy. You’re don’t talk much to anyone. ”

This girl at work said this to me out of the blue on a normal work day.

This was not the first time I was accused of being too reserved at a job. Before I left my last one, I had a boss strongly suggest I go to the Christmas party. I didn’t want to. I knew I wouldn’t have any fun. I’m not much for parties. My boss was a bit ticked.

“It’s like you don’t want to make any friends here.”

She was half-right. I don’t go out of my way to make new friends. I have my trusted few. They’re getting the job done well. It’s going to take some time before I bring someone new into the fold. I have long arduous screening process. Becoming my friend is not easy.

There are people out there who love people. I am not one of those people. I don’t hate people either. I’m not a misanthrope yet. I think it will take another five years before I get there.

I once was more sociable. The elementary school me would get in trouble all the time for talking too much. I had my name on the board permanently for talking out of turn and trying to make the class laugh. I would sing songs while the teacher would try to teach class. I’d introduce myself to new students and make them feel welcome. I made up games during recess to try and include everyone.

I do have my tries to be more sociable now, but it goes horribly every time. So I stopped. Now I only speak in public when I have something to say.

It’s not very often.