Where do you see yourself five years from now?

Five years ago I was going back to college after my first winter break there. I was a criminology major. Only 18 years young. I was unsure of the whole higher education thing. I was giving it a good try. I had all my classes on two days with three off. A set-up that would lead to my downfall.

I’ll be 28 in five years. I can’t imagine my personality will be all that different in 2020. Smarter and wiser than I am now. Hopefully wealthier and happier too. No taller. My voice might be a little deeper.

I might be living in Africa. I tire of America. I haven’t been to Africa since 2002. Life there was much slower-paced than here. Living out of America might serve to give me some much needed perspective on life.

I’d hope to have three feature-length scripts and a novel done by then. I’m almost a third of the way there. Will I have anything published? I wouldn’t be surprised if I did. If I really wanted to push it.

I can’t see myself being married in 2020. I feel no pressure to find that person unless my. I’d imagine many of my friends will be though. I wonder how that will change them. Will any of them have children?

Will I still be posting on this blog in 2020? It’ll be revamped several times by then. 10,000+ followers would be my goal by the end of that year if the blog is still up.

Who knows? Anything can happen in five years.

What’s next?

It’s easy for us to look down on people in the past for having such wacko beliefs. As if the world could be flat. How could you even be racist? Don’t those people in the 1800’s know how totally lame slavery is? But then what about us? We’re the present now, but we won’t be forever.

What will the people of the future look down on us for? I’ll list a few things I think might make us look barbaric or nonsensical in the year 2165.


I’m fairly confident that within my lifetime gay marriage will be legalized across the United States. But what’s next? Maybe more than two. People in the future might just be turning their noses down at us.

How could they only have one partner?

Concept of ownership
We can copy digital data. Once we can copy physical stuff, owning things will be a thing of the past. My house? No. You can have your own version of my house. We all will

Exercising/Going outside

One day they’re going to make a pill that makes you lose weight. There’s a large demand and I think someone someday will find a way to do it. With that will come the end of all need to leave the house. People in the future will scratch their heads at old pictures of people out in the sun and needing a gym to stay in shape.

Natural Birth

Clones are coming and women will no longer have to endure the bliss of childbirth. They’ll scrape off DNA from dad and mom, then toss it into a baby baker. Then pop comes out the baby!

That’s all for now.

My American Dream

(Written in April 2009)

This year I will graduate high school and head on to college. I have a variety of options set in front of me. I could be a doctor or join the military. Many people do not plan this out and simply remain stagnant in their lives. They are the same as the day they graduated from high school.

They have no ambitions. I see them all the time. They simply glide through life. They accomplish nothing and let their dreams go to waste. I will not become one of these people. My American dream is a simple and attainable one if I work at it. I want to be a successful attorney.

My short term goal is to obtain my Juris Doctorate and become a criminal justice attorney. An attorney is a person who ensures that justice is carried. It’s not who you arrested, but how. If an arrest is not made properly, then the system is corrupt. Justice must be fair and just. I know that attending Criminology classes at my college will change my perception of right and wrong for the better.

I plan to get my bachelor’s degree as quickly as possible. The bachelor’s degree is my primary objective for the next 4 years. If I fail to get my bachelor’s degree, my American dream cannot come true. The fruits of my labor will be twice as sweet when I gain my Juris Doctorate a few years later.

I used to dream of being married and having kids, but now I realize that to be something I cannot control. If it was a part of my American dream, I would not have a successful marriage. I would not view my wife as a person, but more as a trophy I gained along the way.

Marriage is not something a person should plan to happen when they are younger. You can never plan for love. Love is a construct which no one truly understands no matter how much they want. I’d like to have a wife and kids, but it is not my primary intention.

The American dream has taken many shapes and forms since its conception. It’s a shame that majority of Contemporary Americans don’t believe that it is attainable anymore. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is still alive today in America even with the recent economic downturn. I won’t let something like that interfere with goals and objectives.

People who are so easily put off their dreams never really wanted to obtain them. They allow their dreams to remain in their imagination.

I plan on turning mine in a reality. If a black man can be president, then anything is possible.

Never Give Up.

tragedy and pain


We live in a fucked up broken world. As of right now, there are people starving to death  while other people throw away excess food. There are people in countries dying of diseases that we’ve found cures for.  Someone has been raped. Someone has been tortured.  Someone somewhere has decided that enough is enough and ended their life. Someone just lost their home of many years. Someone had their lover cheat on them. Somewhere someone lies in a ditch dead with no one looking for them.

For the majority of my adult life, I haven’t believed in hope.

I saw it as delusion. Whenever my mother would hope for something, I’d always sigh. She was setting herself up for disappointment.

I thought there was no light at the end of a tunnel, only a long painful struggle with bright spots. Then you get hit by a bus and leave your wife to raise three kids and pay the mortgage. Even if things go right and you don’t die young, you watch your grandparents die then your parents die, then your friends die, and then you die

What hope could there be in our chaotic viciously violent world?

I was quite the Debbie Downer. I surrounded myself with cynicism which slowly became nihilism. I saw my life as purposeless. I wasn’t going to be remembered.

I’m not the smartest man. I’m not the richest. I’m not the best looking. I’m just a silly kid who likes complaining. I would be forgotten within two to three decades after my death. I thought that I was no one special and I could never be. I’d exist for 50 to 70 years and then I’d be gone for the rest of eternity.

But this ideology made my life feel like a waste of time. I couldn’t focus on my studies anymore. What difference did an A or B or C make in the grand scheme of things? I didn’t matter. Why waste my time trying at anything? It’d just be erased and invalidated the second I died. And that could be at any time.

I didn’t like this mindset. I didn’t have much reason to get out of bed when I thought my life was purposeless. I wanted to matter again. I reshaped my ideology and I left in room for hope.

It’s true that I couldn’t fight back the sands of time. I would grow irrelevant and forgotten once I was gone. But I could still do things that I find worthwhile during my time here. I could do work that I would be proud of. I had hope that I could figure out what this was before I died.

Recently I’ve figured out what I want to do. I want to drown myself in cinema. A movie takes years to make, but when it’s all done, it’s a beautiful thing to experience. On the big screen, we head off to worlds that existed merely in the heads of writers and directors before they put in work so the world could see. We see parts of the human spirit that we wouldn’t be able to experience otherwise.


I want to be one of those people who could make their dreams come out of their head for everyone to gaze at. I want to be a screenwriter.

Since I’ve figured that out, I can’t think about anything else. I still can’t focus in my classes. I just want to learn more about this crazy industry.

Am I deluding myself by hoping I can write movies one day? Maybe. The chances of success are extremely low. I’d say 1 percent of all people who attempt to become screenwriters get anywhere in the business. It takes years of dedication and learning to become a competent screenwriter. That’s not even a recipe for success. You still need luck even if you have all the tools.

I don’t have the advantage of a going to a four year film school or even knowing anyone in the industry. All I have is passion. It’s all I got.

I hope it’s enough.

Soon enough…

I can hear the beats of the drum. I can hear the footsteps. I can hear Tragedy making its way toward me. Who will it be? How long until it happens? I can’t say.

I’ve lived my life without going through major trauma. Three of my four grand parents are dead, but I never knew any of them. A cousin of mine passed away about 3 years ago in a car accident, but I didn’t know him that well either. I have yet to have the strength of my will tested. I have yet to have everything shaken up. I have yet to be thrust in the true cold reality of adulthood.

What will it be? Will 0ne of my friends end up in a serious car accident? The chances are high. I know a lot of people.  One of them is bound to end up in one. I’ve had friends who have had Fate take things away from them or put through horrible ordeals. The worst pain I’ve gone through is having my wisdom teeth removed and having the medication not work at all. That’s nothing.  There’s people out there that have their own children die in front of them. That’s true pain. That’s tragedy

Death is coming, but who will it be? Who will it swallow up that I know first? Will they die of a heart attack? Maybe it’ll be an accident.

If everything goes right and everyone I know makes it to a healthy old age, I still have to endure the future deaths of my parents.  I have to weather the storm of losing two people who have been with from the beginning. Will I be able to endure? I’ll see how strong my will really is.

Who knows what tragedies await me and you in the future? It’s sad to think of what could happen to us in the end.  As we move from the blissful ignorance of youth and we slowly realize the world could gobble us up any day. What pain will the next day? When is the next time I’ll see my true strength?

You can’t let this creeping Tragedy bother you however. You’ve got to keep on going with your everyday life. Because if you worry and fret about it all the time, you’re already dead.