Gamers are Grade A suckers!

I’m convinced they are the biggest suckers in the entire consumer industry. Ed, Edd, N Eddy should have went into the video game business, they’d be living in a town made of jaw breakers!

The video game industry is making oodles of cash. So much fucking money. More than the movie industry.

Why are gamers suckers?

Exhibit A: Defending the prevalence of locked out content in today’s gaming industry.

I remember back when I was a kid. You played a game and there were this thing

What was it called again? Oh yeah. Unlockable content. You beat the game or did some special mission, and wham bam. You could play as Spider-man wearing a paperbag over his head. Sham Zam! You could unlock Fred Durst. You didn’t have to buy it at a special place during the first week the game came out.

It was in the game already. Now? Your ass better make sure to preorder it at Gamestop. Of course then you won’t be able to get the costume at Amazon. Or the exclusive UK costume. Content you can never have. Is whiny to complain about two costumes? For 60 dollars, they better be jam packing these games to the brim with content.

I hear gamers say that developers need to do this to entice first day purchases. Whatever happened to including a booklet? Or a special figure? Too expensive? When your industry makes so much damn money, you really have to scrap for that preorder bonus money? Or the cash you get when people end up having to buy it when you release it later. The suckers who don’t release it was done and available on the same day as the game but was left out intentionally.

The worst are the dummyheads who buy map packs. Psst. Hey. You. Yes. You. Stop it. Cut it out now. $15 for a couple maps? Why are you such a sucker?

The thing I hate is that years from now all these games with locked out content that you have to download an unlock key will one day have those servers go down. Content forever lost because of the greedy fucks and the sucker consumers who just gobble it up.

Exhibit B: Giving up Consumer Rights

You know how you can sell a car after you buy it? You can sell a fork after you buy it? You can sell a book after you read it? You can sell a movie after you’ve watched it? Well the game industry wants a piece of that cut when it comes to selling used video games.

And people think they deserve it? What class A suckers!! They believe that you only own the license to play one of their games and thus they deserve a cut.

Only in the game industry because gamers just sit back and let the companies push their shit in!

Oh God? New Call of Duty! 60 bucks? Xbox Live went up? Who cares? Just take my money. What’s that? If I buy it used, I can’t get all the content? Who cares I don’t buy it used, I love you forever. Hmm? You want it to be so that once I play a game disc, it can never be played again? Sure. I only play games once.

Such Suckers.

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Microsoft’s E3 Press Conference

I don’t own an Xbox 360, but I always watch Microsoft’s press conference to see if it is worth buying. They have never impressed me before. I went in this year with low expectations and they were failed to meet them.

The presentation started with a preview of the upcoming Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. This will probably be the biggest game of the year for the industry. It showed some diving and placing of explosives then some basic shooting on the boat.

I haven’t played Call of Duty since the first Modern Warfare and I barely played that at all. This looked the exact same to me. I didn’t find it impressive and I was quite bored watching the game. If you’re a Call of Duty Fan then you’ll probably end up buying it. If not, this doesn’t look like it’s for you.

I missed some of the presentation because it got really boring so I went to go eat Lunch. I hear Mass Effect 3 was showcased. I don’t know much about that franchise as I have never played it.

The next thing I saw was a new Tom Clancy Ghost Recon game. I realized that this generation of consoles has way too many shooters and they’re all very similar. This was a third person shooter yet it shared the same visuals as Call of Duty so it’s clearly being marketed toward the same crowd.

They showed a Kinect feature for this game that was interesting. You could customize your gun using your voice and motion sensing. I’m not a big fan of motion controls so it didn’t appeal to me. I’ve never seen a game that motion sensing made better.

Next Microsoft spoke about how Xbox live is about more than games. They were going to be adding bing and youtube to Xbox live as well as Minecraft.

Kinect games were featured and they looked terrible. Holy shit. I have never seen shittier games in my life. From the Disneyland Adventure game with the horrible child actors to the Star Wars game, these game were fucking terrible. None of them were good at all. If you own an xbox 360 and don’t like Kinect, sell it. Microsoft doesn’t care about you.

The Star Wars game saddened me because I realized there will never be a new Jedi Knight game.

Gears of War 3 was shown. It seemed similar to the earlier games. It was another shooter so I was bored. Ice-T came out and that was kinda cool.

Halo 4 was their ending game. They showed a small trailer of Master Chief waking up. They also announced that it was the first in a part of a new trilogy on the 360. So if you like Halo, You’ve got 4 new games to get in the future as they announced a remake of Halo 1 due out this November.

E3 Grade: F Minus (See me after class)

What I liked: Nothing

What I didn’t like: Everything. It was bad. I wouldn’t sit through it again. I’m saddened that people were cheering in the crowd for the Kinect garbage. Microsoft milks it franchises until they bleed. We’re on Gears of War 3, Fable 4, and Halo 4 with two more follow ups guaranteed. When are people going to get tired of the same old shit?

I know Kinect is new but it’s also shit. Is it that hard to make good games? I guess when your core market would rather play the same game over and over, there’s no point.