“Enough’s enough!” Multiple Reports of Atlanta Officers Walking Out

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ATLANTA (CNM) – Atlanta police officers are walking out in protest of the criminal charges filed against former Atlanta police officer Garrett Rolfe.

Earlier today, Rolfe, who was fired after shooting of 27-year-old of Rayshard Brooks, was charged with 11 criminal offenses, including felony murder. There have been numerous reports of officers walking out of departments and calling out. There was one report of an officer running out of his department building in his underwear, screaming “Unfair!” over and over again at the top of his lungs.

Atlanta officer George Darren, while speaking to reporters outside of his home, says he will not return to work unless the charges are dropped and Garrett Rolfe is given his job back.

“Enough’s enough!” Officer Darren said. “This is unfair! He was drunk, and resisting arrest! The man stole a police weapon!  Yes, it was deployed and non-lethal. Yes, the officers knew that. Yes, they had his car and could have impounded it. Yes, they had his address and could have arrested him when he returned home.  Yes, they didn’t provide appropriate medical attention after they shot him. Yes, he had his back turned and wasn’t an immediate threat to anyone’s life. But this is unfair! Unfair!”

Darren promised to call out everyday these officers weren’t reinstated. “Just because it wasn’t absolutely necessary to kill him, doesn’t mean he should face consequences. I wouldn’t have taken this job if that were the case! You cannot do this job without shooting people you don’t have to shoot!”

More walkouts are expected in the next few days. There are rumors that these walk-outs aren’t happening, but we’ve decided to publish this article as is for the people.

 

But What About…

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Protests and demonstrations were unheard of in Sumton, Ohio. Yet in the past two months, Mayor Jane Major had dealt with more protests than the previous ten mayors combined. First came the reopeners. They’d gathered outside town hall, holding guns so big they had to have been designed to kill whales.

Their posturing hadn’t shaken Jane Major’s conviction. The city would remain closed until the time was right to reopen. With their curve not flattening, the right time was not going to be anytime soon. Jane Major did not give in easily. She’d been an underdog her whole life. Born with eight and a half toes, she’d been told by doctors that she’d never be able to be a ballerina. After receiving the top award at the World Ballet Competition in 2003, she’d thanked her doctors for the motivation.

She was the first female mayor in Sumton’s history, having had to overcome sexism, voter fraud, and consistent attacks from the local media on her hairstyle. Her red hair and pigtails had been very controversial and led to her being called, “childish”, “unprofessional”, and “Major Piggy” by the Sumton News Daily. None of that had stopped her from taking office.

Just as those protests had been subsiding, the protests against police brutality began. They’d been spared from such demonstrations in the past. She’d thought last year when an officer had shot a one-legged man in his one leg that an out-roar was sure to happen. It was absolutely necessary. My life was in danger, the officer had said in his police report. Sumton had been quiet then, they weren’t quiet now. This week, the police station hadn’t had one day without a crowd of demonstrators gathering outside it. Traffic had been held up by protesters holding hands in the streets. Something had to be done. Unlike the reopeners, Mayor Major agreed with the current protesters that police reform was necessary.

In a conference room in town hall, she’d assembled the most important people in Sumton to discuss police reform; the governing board, police chief Barnsby, and Norbert Daggerton. Daggerton was a rich owner of many local businesses including Daggerton Construction which had built half of Sumton. Named the unsung hero of Sumtown by the Sumton News Daily (which he owned), Norbert Daggerton had influenced every election in Sumton since Ronald Reagan had been shot. Only one mayor had been elected that he had not endorsed, Jane Major.

Wanting to make peace between the two of them, Jane had included Daggerton on the police reform team. Half her term had been jammed up by Daggerton and his floozies. To enact real change, she’d have to hear out his concerns on this issue.  She did fear he wouldn’t be willing to work with her after all the nasty things that had been said over the years. Still, she wanted to give him a chance to speak.

She couldn’t read the neutral expression on his face as he stared at her from across the other end of the large round table the team was sitting at. He was wearing a tan business suit. His hair dyed black to help him appear younger but it had the opposite effect. She might have been able to read him better without the black protective mask on his face. He’d sold hundreds just like it through one of his manufacturing companies. It hid his sharp narrow nose and thin lips that had often been pursed with disapproval when he saw Mayor Major.

When the last person invited to the meeting arrived, Mayor Major gestured to the police officer in the room. He exited the room and locked the door behind him. She’d instructed him not to open it for anyone without her approval. She was determined not to leave without a practical plan for police reform.

Around the table, everyone was sitting at least six feet apart from each other while wearing protective masks. Mayor Major had told everyone that they should set the example for people to follow, even when eyes were not on them like tonight. Yes, it was annoying to have to wear protective masks. Mayor Major’s own mask made her nose itch and smelled. But if they expected the public to do it, they had to do it themselves.

“Thank you for gathering here today.  We have one order of business, police reform. I know you’re all aware of the on-going protests around the country and in Sumton. Police chief Barnsby can attest to that,” Mayor Major said. Barnsby was off to her right. He was a stout man with a face worn down by decades of police work and intense chain-smoking.

Barnsby spoke up in his gruff voice. “Yes. They’re out there now, kneeling in front of the station. Altercations have happened between police and the public that we’re not happy with. Last year’s shooting of Mr. Sakura in his one leg should never have happened. We’re not perfect.  I’m open to changes so long as they are practical.”

“Practical is what I want this police reform to be. Now I’m going to open the room for anyone to speak on what they feel should be addressed in this new legislation,” Mayor Major said. Daggerton cleared his throat, a classic move he’d done over the years to get attention focused on him. “Mr. Daggerton, you wanted to speak?”

Daggerton placed his hands on the table as a show of dominance. “Jane, your concern for Sumton is so admirable. I love it. I’m all about bettering the city.  I built half of it after all,” he said with a chuckle. “Sumton’s police force isn’t perfect, but why is reform necessary?”

“We’ve had shootings of unarmed citizens that shouldn’t have happened. Unarmed African Americans killed by police, three years ago we had three. two years ago, five. This year, eight. A troubling trend.”

Daggerton mulled over what was said for a moment before speaking again. “I’m all for positive change in the lives of African Americans in Sumton. I’ve donated thousands to black causes in the state of Ohio. But what about black-on-black crime?”

“What?” asked Mayor Major, puzzled.

“If we want to lower the deaths of African Americans in Sumton then we have to address that. More African Americans are victimized by their fellow African-Americans than they are by the police as I’m certain chief Barnsby can confirm.” Daggerton said, gesturing to Barnsby who was not expecting to be called upon.

“That is true,” Barnsby replied. “More blacks are killed by citizens than the police.”

“Should we be talking police reform with black-on-black crime being such a problem for the African American community? That’s a bigger issue,” Daggerton said.

“Mr. Daggerton, We’re not here today to-”

“And what about white-on-white crime? We cannot ignore that. We’d be being racist and that itself is abhorrent. There are more white murder victims in this town than black. We must equally consider the white murder victims. And the other minorities. We can’t forget them either.”

“You want to address all murder in this new legislation?” Mayor Major asked, writing that down in her notebook.

“Yes, but before we can focus on murder, shouldn’t we also talk about other violent crimes affecting Sumton. Rape, burglary, battery. What about those crimes? They don’t leave anyone dead, thank heaven for that, but they are still serious crimes that deserve consideration. More people are beaten than murdered in Sumton. We can’t forget them.”

“So, all violent crime then? I’ll note that down.”

“Violent crime, that’s a concern, yes. But what about the source of violent crimes? There’s a cause there. Wealth disparity. What drives a man to break into a car and not purchase one? Lack of wealth. I’m very concerned that if we just reform policing and go all in on crime, we’re not getting at the source of those crimes.”

“Wealth disparity is our primary concern?”

“Yes and no. Wealth disparity on one level is on the individual, but education plays its role, does it not? People aren’t learning enough to prepare them for life. How to balance a check book. How to budget. How to invest. We’ve got to educate our public. Our school systems need to have a good look taken at them, but before we can do that, we have to consider that a lack of funding could be the cause there. Are we allocating funds properly for the school system…”


 

Jane Major stirred awake. It’d been twelve hours since Daggerton had started voicing his concerns. Jane had drifted off to sleep halfway through Daggerton explaining that they had to be as equally concerned with the earth being destroyed by an asteroid and being engulfed by the sun one day. Only police chief Barnsby was still awake and writing down the concerns in his notebook which was almost full.

Daggerton was still going. “Should we only be concerned with things that exist? What about things that are not? We should give equal consideration to both. Things that are not currently in the state of existence could be as important as those things that are. We are inherently biased because we exist. Issues that don’t exist could be just as important as those issues that do exist, but because we’re on this plane of existence, we’re not concerned with them.”

“It’s eleven o’clock. Can we please go home?” the city planner asked desperately.

“Mr. Daggerton, are you finished with your concerns?” asked Mayor Major, cleaning up the pool of drool she’d made after falling asleep.

“No, I had more concerns,” Mr. Daggerton said.

“It is late. We can break. We didn’t make the progress I wanted, but we can meet again. Before we leave, Mr. Daggerton, did you have any solutions or ideas on how to go about addressing any of your concerns?”

“No. See you all next time,” he said, standing up and quickly moving toward the door.


 

Why had she ever invited him? Mayor Major asked herself this on her way to her car. She’d give an arm and a leg to go back and stop herself from inviting him to the first meeting. It was better to waste time fighting him than to waste it listen to him prattle on. Sadly, there was no backing out on him now. Daggerton and his unending concerns were a part of the team. Kicking him out would look worse than never having him in the first place. Mayor Major couldn’t think of a way out of this.

“Jane!” called out Daggerton. With his phone in hand, he ran up to her. His face, one of frustration and anguish. “My nephew, Artie. He’s in the hospital!” he said in-between gasps of air to catch his breath. “He was at one of those protests and some officers attacked him with a baton.”

“No.”

“Yes! We must reform the police!” Daggerton declared. “Now!”

“What about your concerns?” asked Mayor Major.

“What about them? The police are out of control! Little Artie would never hurt a soul and they broke his face! Doctors are saying his nose is going to have be amputated. He was a beautiful boy who worked as a face model. Now he’s going to lose his livelihood. We can’t go home now!” he said. “You and I, we have to stay up and come up with a plan together.”

“I’m all ears,” she said.

Jeffrey Epstein’s cause of death was totally a suicide, says sweaty nervous medical examiner.

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(CNM) – Jeffrey Epstein’s cause of death was definitely a suicide. No funny business to be found here, the New York City Office of the Chief Medical Examiner said Friday, wiping sweat from his forehead and looking for approval from the men in suits seated in front of him.

Epstein was found dead in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center, awaiting trial for sex crimes. Multiple breaks in Epstein’s neck and serious irregularities at the facility where Epstein was kept led to questions surrounding his death. The medical examiner assured everyone there was nothing fishy about it.

“This man killed himself. It’s plain and simple,” the medical examiner said at a press conference, gazing at the rooftop snipers located a few hundred feet away. “Everything checks out. Did you see the charges he was facing? Who wouldn’t kill themselves if they were facing that? ”

It was previously reported that the two guards assigned to Epstein had failed to check on him for three hours. The medical examiner stated that did not matter.

“My autopsy revealed those men did their jobs properly and shouldn’t be questioned about anything. Mr. Epstein was a very sad depressed man. He committed suicide,” the medical examiner said, reading off a piece of paper handed to him by a man in a suit.

Epstein’s attorneys have said they will conduct their own investigation which the medical examiner stated was not necessary. He ended the press conference begging people to believe him and to tell his family that he loved them very much.

Should White Writers Write Black People?

“I’m a young white writer. Can I write stories about black people?”

About once a month, this question is posted on a writing forum I browse. I’m often annoyed at seeing it because the answer to the question is obvious.

It’s yes.

Writers can write about whoever and whatever they want to. They must hold themselves accountable when they step outside of their own personal experience. With the proper research, a good writer can write authentic voices for characters from all backgrounds.  Good writers should never be limited by who they are.

Some people disagree with this. Joanna Johnson, creator of Good Trouble, is one such person. After a screening at the ATX Television Festival, she discussed the importance of having diversity in her writer’s room.

“People of color can write about white people because that’s the world they have lived in,” Johnson said. “I don’t think white writers can write black, Asian or Latino characters authentically. We need more [diversity in the writers room], and I will continue to do that.”

Haven’t white writers written authentic voices for those kind of characters in the past? Not every episode of The Wire had a black writer, but that didn’t stop it from having authentic voices for its black characters. The experiences of blacks, Latinos, and Asians are human experiences. Minorities are not aliens from another planet. White writers can understand the pains and struggles of people unlike them using empathy.

If this mentality catches on, it’s going to discourage white writers from writing characters who don’t share their experience. Writing a black, Asian, Latino, queer, or transgender character gives a white writer the opportunity to learn about another lifestyle. I’d hate to see that happen.

I don’t know if there is further context to this quote outside of what Deadline posted in their article. There is no video of the entire discussion that Ms. Johnson had . I’ll update my thoughts on this if a video comes out later.

Five-Week-Old Embryo In Alabama Totally Stoked about Abortion Ban

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ALBERTVILLE, AL – A five-week-old embryo took a brief moment from his busy schedule of multiplying cells and forming his heart tube to share his joy over Alabama’s controversial abortion law.  The new law bans abortion except in the cases where it threatens the mother’s life. “One less thing to worry about in here. Now I can sit back, enjoy my water-sac, and develop my bottom jaw without any stress,” he told reporters during a sit-down interview. “I have to tell you I was nervous. She was saying she wasn’t ready to be a mom and Googling nearby clinics. Well, mom, ready or not, here I come!” he said, before attempting to laugh out of the blob thing that will one day be his mouth. He expressed that he would be happy to see Roe v. Wade overturned one day. “Between me and you, Roe V. Wade made for some tough times for us embryos. Not my favorite Supreme Court ruling, I tell ya.” When questioned about what he was looking forward to most about being born, he said eating ice cream. “Mom just adores ice cream. I get a nibble here and there through the placenta. It’ll be great to taste it with an actual mouth.” His mother refused to give any comments as she was too busy looking at Google Map directions to New York City.

Avengers: Endgame Falls Short With Captain America’s Ending

This post will contain spoilers for Avengers: Endgame.

Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures (2019)

Avengers: Endgame has been called a worthy conclusion to the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s ten-year saga. The film is a critical and financial success, but it has its issues. One of which is the ultimate fate of Captain America.

After the film’s main conflict is over, Captain America is given the task of delivering the  Infinity Stones back to their original timelines to set things right. He stands on the time machine. The Hulk says he’ll bring back Captain America in five seconds. It does not happen. Instead Bucky looks at a bench in front of them. There’s an elderly Captain America sitting on it. It turns out he stayed in the past and lived out his life with Peggy. He give his shield to Sam to pass on his legacy to his sidekick.

The scene worked on one level. Captain America tragically missed out on the love of his life by being a hero. He gets what he always wanted in this ending. It’s emotionally satisfying to see him dance with Peggy and hand off his legacy to someone else.

Yet he had started a relationship with Sharon Carter in Captain America: Civil War. He had made friends in the present. His best pal, Bucky, had finally come back after he lost him again. Why was he going back to the past to retire with Peggy? It’s as if his character  lost any development he’d gained since coming out of the ice.

To add on to that, Falcon is his own man.  He was Captain America in the comics, but the MCU doesn’t have to follow that example. He should build a legacy of his own.

When I first watched the scene, I wondered why Cap didn’t stop the atrocities of the 20th and 21st centuries. I didn’t understand how time worked in the MCU. I thought Captain America had always traveled back to the past to live with Peggy. He was stuck in a time-loop. Now I have come to understand that the MCU operates on a multiverse theory. This means that there are no time loops. The past can’t be changed so Cap can’t stop those atrocities. Every time a character travel back in time, it creates a new timeline.  The Russo brothers confirmed this in an interview.

Even taking into account this clarification on time travel, this ending for Captain America still has three major problems.

Problem #1: The Cap in the Ice

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The Russo Brothers confirmed that Captain America travels to another timeline to live with Peggy. The problem with this is there is already a Captain America in that timeline. He’s trapped in the ice. The MCU Captain America would have a moral obligation to save this other Captain. (Our Captain America will be referred to as MCU Cap and the other Captain America shall be refer from here on out) He understands the pain of not getting to be with Peggy. Why would he allow his past self to go through that pain when he’s unfrozen in seventy years? He couldn’t unless he was a jerk.

How would MCU Cap explain himself to Peggy? We’re not told if he tells her the truth about who he is. If he does, how can she be okay with him leaving his timeline to chase her? Wouldn’t she want him to go back to his friends and family in the future?  Wouldn’t she want her real Steve and not the MCU Cap who is essentially a doppelganger? If MCU Cap lies to Peggy and pretends to be her Steve, that is highly immoral.

Problem #2:  Unhealthy Escapism

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My favorite episode of Batman the Animated Series is Perchance to Dream. In the episode, Bruce Wayne ends up in another reality where his parents are alive and he’s engaged to Selina Kyle. He’s not Batman. It’s a dream come true. Eventually, Bruce figures out that it’s just a dream and he’s living a life of delusion. He refuses the world of dreams, because no matter how attractive it is, it’s not reality.

In this ending, Captain America chooses to live in a dream world. The Peggy that MCU Cap knows and loves is long dead. In the year 2023 (which Endgame takes place in), she’s been dead for almost ten years. Rather than move past her death and create a new relationship with Sharon, he’s heading to another reality where things are more comfortable for him. He’d rather live in the past than continue on in the future. The messages that this scene is sending are dangerous. Don’t move on, linger on the past forever. Don’t embrace reality, be delusional.

Problem #3: Not the Time for Retirement

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After Endgame, the world is in chaos. 3.5 billion people have reappeared after five years. This could create many problems for the world. Iron Man and Black Widow are dead. During this time of chaos, Captain America who is in the prime of his life, decides it’s time to retire to the past. Why now? The world still needs him. Why would Captain America even want to retire? He’s the man who says he could do this all day. There comes a time to rest but Cap is still able bodied. He was willing to stand against Thanos’s army by himself in Endgame. How is he a man who is ready for retirement? It doesn’t fit his character.

Final Thoughts

This ending sought to wrap up Captain America’s arc with a heart-warming callback to the origins of the character. In doing so, they undid everything that Captain America has learned during his journey through the MCU and turned him into a man who can’t let go of the past. Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely referred to the conclusion of his arc as him moving toward “enlightened self-interest”. That’s a very sophisticated way of saying he becomes a selfish asshole. This is not the ending that such a great character deserves.

 

Upselling. Competitive Advantage?

Despite existing in a world where people can order any product online, brick and mortar continue to pester, annoy and borderline harass their customers by upselling.

Everybody is familiar with the upsell. Electric stores try to sell customers warranties to devices they purchase. Restaurants want their customers to buy a large drink and not a small. If a customer isn’t buying a drink, they should be.  Companies have instructed their employees to do this as a part of the in-person experience.

I despise it. When someone tries to upsell me something, it makes me not want to go to that store anymore. I used to shop at Gamestop regularly until being hounded to preorder games I never asked about. I’d go into the store and have to wait on a long line and then have to wait again as the cashier went into a spiel about preordering games, their game card, and their game warranties.  Now I order my games off of Amazon.  The company lost my regular business.

These stores boast that their in-store customer experience is what gives them an advantage over ordering online, but it’s a detriment. Does anyone want to sit through someone going through a preset script every time they want to purchase an item? Perhaps this is why every year more and more people are ordering online. If brick-and-mortar stores want to continue to exist, they need to make purchasing an item in store as simple and easy as buying online.

 

 

Marvel’s Black Panther

This May marks the ten year anniversary of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. If they continue to release films like Black Panther, they can keep making movies for the next hundred years. I cannot give enough praise to Black Panther.  It is one of Marvel’s strongest offerings and shows why they have been able to succeed in building their universe whereas others like Universal and Warner Bros have struggled. Mightily in the case of Universal. They continue to add breadth and depth to their universe.

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A preview ran before Black Panther for Antman and Wasp. Both of these are MCU movies about superheroes, but Antman is a playful heist franchise. Black Panther is a whole other monster dealing with themes about leadership, blood, racial identity, and tradition.

Black Panther is not a character I’m heavily invested in. He’d pop up in the comics I read like Spider-man or the Avengers. I always enjoyed him because he was cool. He was the king of an African isolationist country with futuristic technology. I never got into his comics because I never made the effort to. I knew his backstory and the origin, going into this movie. I went into this expecting another solid Marvel origin movie, but it took itself off the path.

Very violent. People get cut up by swords, stabbed with spears, shot in the head. It has a little politics in there but it’s never allowed to overpower the movie. You’re not beat over with the head of a message. I loved the sets and costume designs for this movie. It takes from African culture and adds a sci-fi twist to it. The Marvel Cinematic Universe is full of sci-fi and worlds different than ours. I was impressed that they were able to give Wakanda its own identity that set it apart from the Asgard of the Thor movies and the alien world seen in Guardians of the Galaxy.

From a craft standpoint, I liked how willing Ryan Coogler was to put T’Challa through the winger. This guy gets messed up in this movie. He finds out dark secrets and gets the crap kicked out of the him. He’s a good protagonist because of how vulnerable he is throughout the film.  He’s a man made king by the death of his father, unsure if he’s ready for the throne He faces tough questions once he is king and discovers the right answers by the end of the film. I hadn’t seen any of his other films (Creed is on my to watch list but I’ve only seen Rocky 1). I will make an effort to watch the rest of filmography.

As a first generation African immigrant, I was often caught in between two cultures as a kid. The American Black culture and African culture.  This movie was a unique experience as it had those two worlds clash with each other through the conflict between, T’Challa and Erik Killmonger. T’Challa is African-born, raised in tradition, surrounded by family. Killmonger is American and has experienced the prejudices that go on in this country. He’s lost everything and wants to get even. I loved how far Coogler was willing to go with Killmonger to make him sympathetic but also show how destructive his line of thinking was. Michael B Jordan owned the role.

I give this film a strong recommendation. It’s a good movie with a memorable villain. I’m interested to see how this film does in the international box office. Domestically, it’s looking to break records. Superhero movie exhaustion is not here yet and it may never come.

Report: Russell Wilson Fires Orthopedist

In a move that did not shock many, Russell Wilson has decided to fire Michelle Peters, his personal orthopedist.

Bob Condotta of the Seattle Times reports that Michelle Peters, Wilson’s orthopedist throughout his career in the NFL, has been shown the door.

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After being repeatedly knocked on his ass by NFL defensive lineman during his rookie year, Wilson hired Peters to ensure his butt made it through the rest of his career. Peters utilized a team of chiropractors and masseuse to realign Wilson’s tailbone and skin tissue following games where he was knocked flat on his butt.

From 2012 to 2015, Wilson was thrown violently onto his buttocks 280 times. This was the highest butt collision rate in a four year span since the NFL Merger. Peters has had to do twelve complete reconstructions of Wilson’s butt, each of these followed games against the Los Angeles Rams.

It is speculated that money is the reason behind this recent release. When the Seahawks traded Max Unger for Jimmy Graham in 2015, Wilson was forced to make Peters the highest paid orthopedist in all of professional sports to prevent her from leaving for other pastures. After the Seahawks recent firing of OL coach Tom Cable, Peters became expendable.

Wilson released a statement this moment, addressing the firing.

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Peters has not been shaken by the firing. She has visits with the New York Giants and the Indianapolis Colts already set for next week.

Sources close to her say that she is keeping an eye on what Tom Cable does next. If an NFL team is stupid enough to hire him to be their offensive line coach, she will give their quarterback a phone call. She has said that wherever Tom Cable is, there is a quarterback in need of her services.

 

Photo Credits:

Ted S. Warren/AP
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World Hunger On The Rise Again, Lack of Networking to Blame.

(CNM) – After years of steady decline, global hunger is again on the rise. This increase – 350 million more people than last year – is largely fueled by a deficit in networking skills which has led to larger unemployment rates which has led to increased starvation and malnutrition across the world, according to a report published by the World Health Organization.

550 million work-age adults worldwide are networking-stunted, the report says. 100 million adults suffer from shyness. An estimated 220 million adults are too negative-minded to network without being a total downer. Being weird-looking and creepy is also cause for concern. These trends are the consequences of bad parenting, bad gene pools, chronic depression, and millennial entitlement.

“The number has risen dramatically in the past year. What we had here was a surplus of people who went out into the workforce and thought they could get by with a well-written resume, relevant work experience, and a college degree. The working world is more complex than that,” the heads of the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO), the US Labor of Bureau Statistics (BLS), and the International Networking Skills Development Committee (INSDC) said in their joint foreword to the report.

“This is not something that the world can afford to ignore. To reach our aim of ending hunger and all forms of malnutrition by 2020, we must address the fact that lacking in networking skills leads to unemployment which leads to starvation. Half of the starving population are perfectly-qualified workers who do not network or have a poorly constructed network. Finding an answer to the networking-stunted question is a necessary condition to end world hunger,” they said.

In response to the report, WHO has plans to open networking education centers where networking-stunted individuals will be gathered to help them become better networkers.

“A person who does not know how to network is a person in need of help. If you or anyone you know is networking-stunted, please fill out the form on our website to add to our list of individuals who require networking re-education. After the opening of the networking education centers, the networking-stunted will be transported to the centers where they will have access to free drinks and networking mixers. It is fully recommended that the networking-stunted individuals not ask questions or resist during their relocation,” WHO said in their public response to the report.