Five-Week-Old Embryo In Alabama Totally Stoked about Abortion Ban

Image result for one month old embryo

ALBERTVILLE, AL – A five-week-old embryo took a brief moment from his busy schedule of multiplying cells and forming his heart tube to share his joy over Alabama’s controversial abortion law.  The new law bans abortion except in the cases where it threatens the mother’s life. “One less thing to worry about in here. Now I can sit back, enjoy my water-sac, and develop my bottom jaw without any stress,” he told reporters during a sit-down interview. “I have to tell you I was nervous. She was saying she wasn’t ready to be a mom and Googling nearby clinics. Well, mom, ready or not, here I come!” he said, before attempting to laugh out of the blob thing that will one day be his mouth. He expressed that he would be happy to see Roe v. Wade overturned one day. “Between me and you, Roe V. Wade made for some tough times for us embryos. Not my favorite Supreme Court ruling, I tell ya.” When questioned about what he was looking forward to most about being born, he said eating ice cream. “Mom just adores ice cream. I get a nibble here and there through the placenta. It’ll be great to taste it with an actual mouth.” His mother refused to give any comments as she was too busy looking at Google Map directions to New York City.

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