(CNM) – After years of steady decline, global hunger is again on the rise. This increase – 350 million more people than last year – is largely fueled by a deficit in networking skills which has led to larger unemployment rates which has led to increased starvation and malnutrition across the world, according to a report published by the World Health Organization.
550 million work-age adults worldwide are networking-stunted, the report says. 100 million adults suffer from shyness. An estimated 220 million adults are too negative-minded to network without being a total downer. Being weird-looking and creepy is also cause for concern. These trends are the consequences of bad parenting, bad gene pools, chronic depression, and millennial entitlement.
“The number has risen dramatically in the past year. What we had here was a surplus of people who went out into the workforce and thought they could get by with a well-written resume, relevant work experience, and a college degree. The working world is more complex than that,” the heads of the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAO), the US Labor of Bureau Statistics (BLS), and the International Networking Skills Development Committee (INSDC) said in their joint foreword to the report.
“This is not something that the world can afford to ignore. To reach our aim of ending hunger and all forms of malnutrition by 2020, we must address the fact that lacking in networking skills leads to unemployment which leads to starvation. Half of the starving population are perfectly-qualified workers who do not network or have a poorly constructed network. Finding an answer to the networking-stunted question is a necessary condition to end world hunger,” they said.
In response to the report, WHO has plans to open networking education centers where networking-stunted individuals will be gathered to help them become better networkers.
“A person who does not know how to network is a person in need of help. If you or anyone you know is networking-stunted, please fill out the form on our website to add to our list of individuals who require networking re-education. After the opening of the networking education centers, the networking-stunted will be transported to the centers where they will have access to free drinks and networking mixers. It is fully recommended that the networking-stunted individuals not ask questions or resist during their relocation,” WHO said in their public response to the report.