Black boy playing Pokémon killed by police officer, officials say

(CNM) – A 7-year-old black boy was shot and killed by Lieutenant Gregory Surge, a white police officer in Kalos, New Hampshire late Thursday night, Police Chief Gary Mills said on Friday.

The killing occurred when the boy walked by the officer while playing Pokémon Sun, the latest entry in the popular series. The officer stopped the boy, then proceeded to fire every round of his firearm into the young child.

The events were detailed during a news conference with Police Chief Mills and Lieutenant Surge, early Friday morning.

“He had to die,” said Lieutenant Surge at the conference. “I told him to stop and show me some identification. He did as I instructed him. This made me very nervous. At this point, I determined the boy to be a huge threat, in fact the threatiest threat that has ever threated. I feared my life was in danger. I had no choice but to pull out my weapon and end his life.”

Police Chief Mills stated that an internal investigation determined that the boy had been playing Pokemon aggressively near Lieutenant Surge. When asked how a seven-year-old poised a threat to his life, Surge left the press conference with no further comment.

Surge has no other incidents of violence on his record other than the time he flipped off the governor for raising his taxes. Surge is currently suspended without pay and must stay in his room with no television for a whole week.

This tragic shooting follows the recent shootings in Orlando, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Houston, Seattle, Cleveland, Chicago, Baton Rouge, San Francisco, Maine, New Hope, Chicago, Columbus, Washington, Dallas, Boston, Detroit, and Chicago. It is expected to prompt Congress to aimlessly discuss gun control for the twentieth time this year.

On a brighter note, Nintendo will be transferring all of the deceased child’s Pokémon to his brother. This will allow the boy to complete his Pokédex and become the very best like no one ever was.