The Egalitarians!

Everybody’s fighting for equality. Feminists. Meninists. The NAACP. The GLAAD. The NSA. The BCCA and many more important acronyms. Each of these groups claiming to have the same goal. Equal rights and equal opportunity for all of mankind.

But I bet if you got all these these equality seekers in the same room, they would be at each other’s throats. The room would turn violent very quickly. Because they all have their own definition of equality. Some say the shaming of feminine traits to be the cause of society’s ills. Others think it all comes down to class and economic disparity. More might say it’s down to racial bias. The only thing these groups would agree is that the world is unequal.

But what if they all got along? They let bygones be bygones. They open their fists and close their mouths. They embrace one another. They burn all their t-shirts, posters and bumper stickers they needed to spread awareness of their issues. They cast aside their old labels. They throw away all their silly acronyms and hashtags. They have the same goal so why fight one each other? Why have different names? Their super equality group will be known under one name.

The Egalitarians.

They will eradicate bias and privilege of any sort. They will be the scale-balancers. Seekers of fair.

What is the first thing on the agenda of the egalitarians? Economic disparity. They go after the wage gaps between sexes and race. They gain ground easily with a frustrated public. A bill is pushed through the government that puts an end to unequal pay.

But that’s not enough. Still there are more male CEOs than women. More white engineers than minorities. Too many minorities in prison. People are trapped in circles of poverty with no way out. The egalitarians are now after equal opportunity for everyone.

They create incentive programs for other groups in science. They shovel money into poor neighborhoods. They improve the education system. It takes them over a thousand years to shatter the circles of poverty, but they manage to get the job down.

But equal opportunity is still not there. The extraordinary are ruining it. They have better genetics than the average person. Their faces are more symmetrical so people treat them better. Their minds are naturally sharper. This is leading to them making more money and taking advantage of more opportunities. A painter can create a beautiful painting and sell it for thousands. Not everyone can be a great painter even with hard work and dedication.

These extraordinary people must be dealt with. They need to be knocked from their pedestals and brought down to everyone’s level. Why should they get more out of life because they were born a certain way? That is unequal and the egalitarians are here to snuff that out.

The egalitarians set up checks in hospitals to enact their final solution for unequal opportunity. If your child is extraordinary, strange or different, it will be terminated. There is some resistance at first, but the egalitarians have too much power to be stopped. The genius, the stunningly beautiful, the mentally deficient, and the ugly are all eradicated. There will be no deviation from the group. Everyone will be on the same playing field.

The egalitarians use to science to modify people into one gender. Why should women get to enjoy childbirth and men cannot? Everyone’s skin color is drained from them until they are a pale grey. And with that, the world is finally rid of sexism and racism.

The egalitarians still find bias amongst humanity. People showing more preference and love to family members. They find comfort in people who are from the same culture as them. Why should you enjoy a person more because they share the same blood as you? This is not equal. And so the egalitarians destroy the family unit. Babies are ripped from their mothers. You are not a child to a person. You are a child of the world. You will show the same love to all children, not that of your blood. Everyone is your family. Everyone is your friend. Everyone is your lover. That is equal.

The egalitarians go out and destroy all forms of culture. Where there is culture, there are those who don’t belong. Those who don’t belong are not treated the same. That is unequal. Every church, temple, mosque is burned down. No more identifying as a group. You are all people. That is the only identification that you need. You do not need the comfort of people who think like you. You will find comfort in your fellow man.

People are moved around every couple of months to prevent them from growing attached to their region. If you love where you’re from, you’ll show love to others who are from there. You should feel at home everywhere.

The egalitarians are pleased by the results. Equality has almost been achieved. Everyone is on the same level. No one can achieve more than anyone. They show the same amount of compassion to their fellow man.

But there still remains the problem of thoughts. There are people who are pretending to be equal. They still have bias in their hearts. They are safe inside their minds to be as biased as possible. True equality can’t allow these pretenders.

The egalitarians build a machine that allows them to see the inner thoughts of every person. They know all thoughts. If you are biased in anyway, the egalitarians will know. They will find you. There is no hiding from the egalitarians. You will be terminated for your bias. It’s the only solution. The egalitarians cannot be lax, not when equality is so close to being achieved.

The egalitarians smile at their just equal world. They wish those of the past could have enjoyed it. The first egalitarians are long gone. This was their dream and they aren’t around to enjoy it. In fact the billions of humans can’t. They’re dead. The people of today and the future will be equal but not those in the past. Why should these people enjoy this beautiful equal future when others cannot? The living should not get preference over the dead. That is unequal.

Then the egalitarians see the truth of equality. So long as a person lives, they are privileged over those who are gone. And those who are gone are privileged over those who never had the chance to exist. Why should the losers in the race to the egg remain forgotten and unknown? That is unequal.

The egalitarians build a bomb that will erase every trace of mankind. Non-existence is equality. True equality at its core. The bomb goes off and with it goes mankind. But it does more than decimate the earth. The egalitarians were kind enough to spread equality through the universe. Why should only lifeforms on earth get to revel in equality? It engulfs the universe, leaving nothing.

Because nothing is equal.

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4 thoughts on “The Egalitarians!

  1. Hi! I’ve been following your posts for awhile but had to comment on this one because you’ve really captured my concern about the “forced egalitarian” movement – an oxymoron there since some people are forced more than others to be equal. Have you ever viewed the short film or old TV show (2 versions – the latter with Sean Astin) “Harrison Bergeron”? Both can be viewed on YouTube for free if you haven’t. Anyhow, same sentiments about egalitarians there along with cynical humor. These egalitarians confuse equal opportunity with equal outcomes. Thanks for the wonderful read!

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