Is Social Rejection the Key to Creativity?

Good blog post.

Cody Delistraty

On the psychology of why rejection and loneliness may be necessary evils for the creative genius

View original post 1,862 more words

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The Way

Even if we knew the solutions to our impossible problems, (racism, sexism, crime, poverty, hunger, illness, violence) we would not be able to solve them. Our system is not built for such radical change.

Picture this. A man sleeps in his bed. He is visited by an omnipotent cosmic creature that wants to help mankind. The creature whispers in his ear the way for man to live together in peace and harmony. Where suffering is minimized and everyone can eat as much cake as they want without gaining weight. The man wakes up.

What can he do with that divine inspiration? How best could he reach the world to show us the way?

The man could try out politics, the game of compromise. But to enter politics, he’d need money and a good reputation. He’d need to appear to be what the people wanted so they would vote for him. If he had a stammer, showed weakness or was born the wrong race, he could fail right out of the gate. He’d have to shake hands and kiss butts for a long time before he could start enacting any change.

He’d have to be able to withstand the media and the mud-slinging from other politicians. His solutions would be radical therefore controversial and dangerous. He’d have to keep them bottled up or he’d end up scaring off voters. Even if he were completely right, he’d end up losing. Being right doesn’t guarantee you votes. He’d have to learn to smile for the camera. He’d have to join one of the two major parties if he wanted to really get anywhere.

Even if he made it to the top and became President, he’d have only eight years at most to stir America the right way. And that would be only America. The rest of the world would be lost to him. If people didn’t see results instantly, he’d be out in four years for someone else pretending to know what he knew. He’d face difficulty from the corrupt for his entire life if radical change did come. He might end up assassinated. Then the way would be lost.

He could try his hand at religion. He could create a church that worshiped the divine creature that visited him. . Persuasion would be a necessary tool to get started. A community would have to be born that believed in him and his way. But without the inertia of tradition, why would anyone listen to him? What separated him from the mentally ill and insane?

If he were charismatic, he might be able to start a cult. H might be lucky enough to build a grand church out of that. But the way would end up lost when he passed away. His disciples would interpret his teachings as best they could. But they would be human and therefore selfish. The way would be stained by their desires. Changing whenever it benefited them.

Academia is another path. He could write down all he knew. He might end up in peer-reviewed journals. His message would reach an elite group of intelligent people but be lost to the public. He’d receive awards for his brilliant writings. He could become so noteworthy that people would teach classes about him and his philosophy. A few students might end up inspired to do their best to carry on his way. Others might see his way as a reason to hurt others.

The man would best be suited to going right back to sleep and pretending he never heard a thing.

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WHAT A SLUT!

I want to talk about the word, “slut”. “Slut” is a great word. I don’t get to use it often. It slides out of the mouth and has a nice kick to it. It’s one of the tamer vulgar words. You can slip it into a PG movie. I put it in the same class as crap and damn. Those are the words a first grader learns and becomes the coolest kid in class.

I am a believer that no words are bad words. People misuse them overtime and they become considered bad words.

From what I can remember from eighth grade lunch, a “slut” was a girl who was too sexually loose, or wore short clothes or danced with her butt in the air, or rejected you for your romantic advances. It was also used to describe just girls in general. Because it made you cool to use the word.

Most of the time it’s about a girl being too sexually loose. Not for dudes. If a guy is called a slut, it’s a joke. You slap your knee after you say it. But for a girl, it’s said with contempt. There is that double standard.

Dude gets lots of chicks and he’s like the bomb. But if a girl does it, she’s not the bomb.

My understanding of this was that it’s generally accepted that dudes gotta try harder than the ladies for one night stands. Some dude don’t like seeing women out there having a good time while they’re struggling. It’s like how people don’t like it when teams run up the score in sports games. Guy can’t handle the girl doing all that so he’s gotta insult her.

Sexual Diseases are also a fear people have. So some dudes and women-ladies label the loose girls to warn others even if they don’t have a disease. It’s not cool to do that.

And some men associate many different sexual partners with an inability to commit.I don’t know if the science is there, but I can understand skepticism. If you’re searching for a lifetime partner and the other person has been with a lot of people, you might be wary of their ability to commit to you.

Should people be judged by their sexual history? I think so. It’s a part of who they are. They made their decisions. They should just own it. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. It doesn’t make you a horrible person unless you slept with Bill Lumberg. Then you deserve to suffer for the rest of your sorry existence.

Should people be made to feel bad or shamed for their sexual history? Probably not. But it’s going to happen. That’s nature.

Or nurture. One of those.

Words only have power if we give them power though. It’s how you take in that information. You can’t let a bunch of losers like get you down by saying things about you.

This was a blog post. I’m done now.

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Seahawks Wins/Losses for the 2015-16 season.

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It’s stupid to make predictions now for the upcoming football season. There are five months until the season starts. Who knows what could happen between then and now? Russell Wilson could OD on heroin. Marshawn Lynch could . Bruce Irvin could actually get a DUI. Pete Caroll might invent a time machine and correct his mistake. Certainly no football expert would waste their time trying.

Luckily I’m no football expert. So here’s my predictions.

Seattle Seahawks 2015-2016

Home (8-0)

The Seahawks should go undefeated at home next year. The past two years they dropped one game. I’ll stick with 8-0 even though they did drop one home game the past two years.

Vs. Cardinals (W)
The Cardinals are a good team.I felt so bad for their fans. At one point, they were 9-1. And then everything fell apart so quickly. They made it into the playoffs running on fumes. They won’t be in that condition once the season starts, but I see Seattle beating them here. Of all the teams that could beat Seattle at home, I think they have best shot.

Vs. Rams (W)
This will be a hard game. The Rams are the team that scare me the most when the Seahawks play them. They are a tricky team with a tricky coach. And they’re getting better. If they can get their offense going, they’ll become the biggest threat to the Hawks in west.

Vs. Browns (W)
This is going to be the close game that’s expected to be a blow out going on. Seahawks will eek out a win here. I have no basis for it being close. I just have this gut feeling.

Vs. Steelers (W)
I’m looking really forward to this game. The Seahawks haven’t played the Steelers in the Russell Wilson era. Ben Roethlisberger has never been in Centurylink. And the people of Seattle haven’t forgotten Superbowl 40. The ghost of Matt Hassellbeck will watch over this game with intent.

vs. Panthers (W)
This game will be okay and the Seahawks will win.

Vs. Bears (W)
I have no opinion on the Bears. There’s 32 teams. I can’t keep up with them. I have no opinions on the Titans, Bears, Bengals, and The bears have a great mascot, but the team seems to be struggling. I don’t think they turn it around next year. I hope they do. Bears are awesome and they shouldn’t be represented by a mediocre team.

vs. 49ers (W)
The Niners are in rough shape. Lost their coach. Half their team has retired. Perhaps the quest for six will be a lot longer than their fans expected.

In 2014, the Seahawks owned the Niners. The Hawks ended their Superbowl aspirations with the tip in that NFCC game. They ate turkey on their logo after a blowout in their own stadium.

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Kaep is not good in Centurylink. Sherman has him downloaded. I read some rumors that he’s trying to become a better pocket passer. I don’t see him getting there in Seattle. This will be a win for Seattle. The only way they lose is if Tharold Simon screws up.

Vs. Detroit (W)
The Seahawks should never have let Golden Tate go. It is my feeling that he would be the solution to a lot of their problems on offense. But that’s just me. This will be his revenge game. He ain’t winning though. I wish he could come back.

Away (5-3)

The Seahawks are an excellent team at home. They’re good on the road, but they drop a few game here and there. I expect next year to be no different.

At Packers (W)
The Packers are going to be out for blood in this game, but I don’t think it will be enough. The Seahawks match up really well against the Packers. If Russell Wilson had an average day that NFCC game could have been a blow out. The defense was on fire that game. They played out of their minds to keep it close. Aaron Rodgers will be back to his regular self. This will be a great game.

At Ravens (L)
The Seahawks have to lose on the road. And this is an acceptable loss. It’s a playoff team. Russell Wilson will have one of his funky games.

At Cowboys (L)
The Cowboys are a little worse now. The Seahawks lost to them in Seattle, but that was when Percy Harvin’s bitch ass was still on the team. Still it’s a road game. I expect this to be a loss.

At 49ers (W)
I predict the Hawks to sweep them again.

At Bengals (W)
The Bengals are pretenders.

At Vikings (W)
This game I’m not confident on. I need to read up more on the Vikings. I say this is a soft W. I know they have a young QB who’s not bad.

At Cardinals (W)
I don’t feel too hot about this prediction either. Sweeping the Cards last year only happened because of Ryan Lindley and their defense giving up. I’ll keep the W here, but this is one I would not be surprised to see being an L.

At Rams (L)
The trickery of the Rams beat Seattle last year. Their coach said he had two tricks left to use on Seattle in their Week 17 game. He didn’t get to use them. He’s going to pull them out here in St. Louis where trickery runs wild.

So I’m predicting a 13-3 season. That’s high expectations for this team. They were 7-9 only four years ago. They could drop down there again. A few balls swing the other way last year and they don’t make it to the Superbowl.

The offense should be better next season. Russell Wilson will be another year wiser. Marshawn can continue to do Marshawn Lynch things. Christine Michael might come into his own. If Jimmy Graham is not a bust, that’d be swell for the team too. I can’t tell if struggling early on in games is a part of the design of the Seahawks offense. More blow-outs would be nice to see.

The defense should be around the same. Tharold Simon, who was my least favorite Seahawk last year, will get his shit together. I lost faith in him, but I’m giving him a second chance. That was his rookie year. The only thing about the defense is that if Bobby Wagner or Earl Thomas goes down, the dark times are coming to Seattle.

I hope Mebane is back in time for Week 1. I missed his belly dances throughout the post season.

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I’ll double back on this post right before preseason and before week one. Then depending on the Seahawks playoff situation, I’ll review my preview in December.

That is if I haven’t contracted a terminal disease or been in an unfortunate fatal motor-vehicle accident. Those things could delay my review.

Us and Them.

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Right now there’s a guy in a cafeteria sitting all by himself. He’s unpacking his brown bag lunch with the same meal he eats everyday. He might look over at the table next to him. No person greets him. Not a person is excited that they’ve sat down. No person even knows them.

You’ve seen this guy or girl in every workplace or school cafeteria. They sit on the edge of a table by themselves.
What is it that these people are lacking? Why has no one brought them into their group? Is it because they are a bad person?

But even angry violent people have friends. The worst of the worst have people willing to put up with and care for them. Serial killers receive thousands of letters. Some get marriage proposals. Terrorist organizations trip over new recruits between their day-to-day bombings of the innocent. So it can’t be morality.

And it isn’t looks. The ugly find people on their level to connect to. These loners aren’t the ugly. You wouldn’t bat an eye if you saw them accepted into a group. They’d fit right in to that group of friends that they’re sitting across from.

Perhaps they’ve been offered to join a group and turned it down. They are strong enough to be alone. There is no joy in social places for them. They want the solitude and seek it. People come and go. Why care about their acceptance? There’s only one person they need to love. And that’s the only person that’ll be there with them for their entire life.

Could they have been a part of a group and then kicked out? Perhaps they are an exile from a lunch table across the hall. They’re reduced to eating by themselves.They once saw smiling faces across the table and now only strangers around them. They made a mistake and this is their punishment.

Are they mentally stunted? Can they not process the pain of social rejection? Were they born without a need for human contact? Did someone pummel it out of them? A childhood spanking gone awry? Perhaps they hit their head as a child and lost what the rest of us have?

They could smell. That could do it. The best personality in the world can’t overcome a putrid odor. Has someone told them about their problem? Perhaps they know and can’t do a thing about it. No deodorant, cologne, or soap can fight back the stench radiating from their body. So they sit there, knowing no one can stand to be within them.

Could they be an alien from another planet? They’re watching our every move and waiting to slip in. They’re leaning all our social scripts and irrational gestures. And then they’ll ask how you’re doing. You’ll be none the wiser. You’d accept them. They’ll say all the words at all the right times. They’ll come off as human like you and I.

Is it their destiny to be where they are? If there are people with friends, there must be people without friends. One cannot exist without the other. They’ve drawn the short straw in life. It’s unfair.

But if they opened their mouth to complain or beg for a chance, it’d only push us farther away from them.

There is nothing more repugnant to the human spirit than the socially desperate. They wear their emotions on their sleeves. We see them for all they are. We know what they want. And it disgusts us. It is written in our flesh and blood, right down to the bone to reject such a person.

We are not as cruel to the hungry and thirsty. We toss them our scraps and urge people to be more considerate of them. But the socially starved gain our disdain whether they’re responsible for their position or not. They ask too much of us. How can we accept them? They might as well be begging for a cancer cure.

No person is good enough to be everyone’s friend. No person good enough to look at all people and see something worthwhile. We have our favorites that we keep close.

They’re agreeable to us. They were born near us. They went to the same school as us. They share some of our same opinions. So we give them our love. We deem them worthy of our time and affection. They get to become a part of us.

There must be us and them.

Just be glad you’re not them.