“You’re a quiet guy. You’re don’t talk much to anyone. ”
This girl at work said this to me out of the blue on a normal work day.
This was not the first time I was accused of being too reserved at a job. Before I left my last one, I had a boss strongly suggest I go to the Christmas party. I didn’t want to. I knew I wouldn’t have any fun. I’m not much for parties. My boss was a bit ticked.
“It’s like you don’t want to make any friends here.”
She was half-right. I don’t go out of my way to make new friends. I have my trusted few. They’re getting the job done well. It’s going to take some time before I bring someone new into the fold. I have long arduous screening process. Becoming my friend is not easy.
There are people out there who love people. I am not one of those people. I don’t hate people either. I’m not a misanthrope yet. I think it will take another five years before I get there.
I once was more sociable. The elementary school me would get in trouble all the time for talking too much. I had my name on the board permanently for talking out of turn and trying to make the class laugh. I would sing songs while the teacher would try to teach class. I’d introduce myself to new students and make them feel welcome. I made up games during recess to try and include everyone.
I do have my tries to be more sociable now, but it goes horribly every time. So I stopped. Now I only speak in public when I have something to say.
It’s not very often.