Marriage Equality?

Everyone hates Comic Sans

What does marriage equality really mean? We’ve all seen the red equal signs as people’s profile pictures.

According to Google, marriage is the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife. I’ll stand by the Google definition for this discussion.

Marriage is already equal. Everyone can engage in man and woman formal unions. Nobody is excluded from this other than children because they aren’t real people.

What these false marriage equalists actually want is to change the definition of marriage to fit their agenda. They want same-sex marriage. They shouldn’t hide behind the veil of marriage equality. They’re misusing that term.

I don’t have any problem with gay marriage. There’s no argument against it. Any religious argument is hogwash because we don’t all follow the same religion. The child rearing argument doesn’t hold any weight. We allow old people who can’t have children anymore to marry.

It’s just that if we’re changing the definition of marriage, then we need to make sure it’s equal for everyone.

Why should two consenting adults have all the fun? What about a person who’s all by themself?

Think about ugly people. I’m not talking about people with buck teeth and lazy eyes.

I’m talking about people whose faces are so grotesque that they will never find a partner unless they can trick a blind person. These are people who no one could ever love because they look like hideous monsters.

Nobody cares about what’s on the inside when the outside is vomit-inducing.  What if your face makes people turn away and run in fear? Does that mean you don’t get to enjoy marriage? Where is marriage equality for the ghoulish looking freaks in our society?

And what if you hate people? What if you can’t bring yourself to love someone other than yourself? It doesn’t seem fair that you don’t get to have a wedding. That’s a giant milestone in life. Why should people who can’t stand the company of others be unable to marry?

What if you’re just a complete loser with zero self-esteem? What if you can’t handle rejection so you never get close to anyone? What if you’re afraid of intimacy? Or you’re just really awkward? That’s sad. These people need marriage more than two lovebirds who have each other.

We should create a special kind of marriage for these sort of people. Self-marriage. Love is love even if the only person you love is yourself.

And what about people who have more than one partner? What’s wrong with three consenting adults getting married together? Or a hundred? As long as they all consent, I don’t see a problem.

This allows for more mind-blowing weddings. We’ve seen the crazy shit two people do when they get hitched. Now imagine three or four! With more people pooling their money together, we could get some real kickass weddings.

With more people getting married at once, that’s more wedding gifts that have to be bought. Polygamy could be just the boost that the economy needs.

I believe true marriage equality is a great idea. We should change the definition of marriage.

Marriage should be defined as a formal union between one or more consenting adults. That’s the only way to keep things equal.

If you’re a supporter of gay marriage and only gay marriage, please stop using the term “Marriage Equality”

I’m quite serious. Stop.




We live in a fucked up broken world. As of right now, there are people starving to death  while other people throw away excess food. There are people in countries dying of diseases that we’ve found cures for.  Someone has been raped. Someone has been tortured.  Someone somewhere has decided that enough is enough and ended their life. Someone just lost their home of many years. Someone had their lover cheat on them. Somewhere someone lies in a ditch dead with no one looking for them.

For the majority of my adult life, I haven’t believed in hope.

I saw it as delusion. Whenever my mother would hope for something, I’d always sigh. She was setting herself up for disappointment.

I thought there was no light at the end of a tunnel, only a long painful struggle with bright spots. Then you get hit by a bus and leave your wife to raise three kids and pay the mortgage. Even if things go right and you don’t die young, you watch your grandparents die then your parents die, then your friends die, and then you die

What hope could there be in our chaotic viciously violent world?

I was quite the Debbie Downer. I surrounded myself with cynicism which slowly became nihilism. I saw my life as purposeless. I wasn’t going to be remembered.

I’m not the smartest man. I’m not the richest. I’m not the best looking. I’m just a silly kid who likes complaining. I would be forgotten within two to three decades after my death. I thought that I was no one special and I could never be. I’d exist for 50 to 70 years and then I’d be gone for the rest of eternity.

But this ideology made my life feel like a waste of time. I couldn’t focus on my studies anymore. What difference did an A or B or C make in the grand scheme of things? I didn’t matter. Why waste my time trying at anything? It’d just be erased and invalidated the second I died. And that could be at any time.

I didn’t like this mindset. I didn’t have much reason to get out of bed when I thought my life was purposeless. I wanted to matter again. I reshaped my ideology and I left in room for hope.

It’s true that I couldn’t fight back the sands of time. I would grow irrelevant and forgotten once I was gone. But I could still do things that I find worthwhile during my time here. I could do work that I would be proud of. I had hope that I could figure out what this was before I died.

Recently I’ve figured out what I want to do. I want to drown myself in cinema. A movie takes years to make, but when it’s all done, it’s a beautiful thing to experience. On the big screen, we head off to worlds that existed merely in the heads of writers and directors before they put in work so the world could see. We see parts of the human spirit that we wouldn’t be able to experience otherwise.


I want to be one of those people who could make their dreams come out of their head for everyone to gaze at. I want to be a screenwriter.

Since I’ve figured that out, I can’t think about anything else. I still can’t focus in my classes. I just want to learn more about this crazy industry.

Am I deluding myself by hoping I can write movies one day? Maybe. The chances of success are extremely low. I’d say 1 percent of all people who attempt to become screenwriters get anywhere in the business. It takes years of dedication and learning to become a competent screenwriter. That’s not even a recipe for success. You still need luck even if you have all the tools.

I don’t have the advantage of a going to a four year film school or even knowing anyone in the industry. All I have is passion. It’s all I got.

I hope it’s enough.