Daniel Bryan Danielson Part 3: YES! YES! YES!

 There’s one man who’s been able to rise above it all on Smackdown. No obstacle could stand in his way. Not a seven foot tall genetic freak. Not the world’s strongest man. Not the Apex Predator. He’s escaped steel cages from giant behemoths. He’s made people realize that sooner or later everyone taps out. He’s managed to squeeze out a victory when no one thought he would be able to. He’s scraped and clawed his way. He claims that he’s a role model because he’s a vegan. He’s had a woman at his side the entire way that he appreciates greatly. He’s dedicated match after match to her. He has his critics.  They say that he’s a weasel who doesn’t deserve anything that he has. They aren’t fan of the way he’s managed to win. . They say that he’s no role model. They say he’s no one special. Some would even go so far as to call him a coward. He calls himself the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION and he only has one word for his critics.

He said YES! YES! YES!  And I say YES! YES! YES! For over 100 days, Daniel Bryan has been the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. And I couldn’t be much happier about it. I had my reservations when he first took on the Big Show but since then nearly everything involving Daniel Bryan has been gold. He’s done the best with what he’s been given.

I’m surprised to see the WWE get behind Bryan in the way that they have. They usually cut the legs off of any young up and comer at the exact wrong time. I thought Bryan was finished until Orton was taken out of the Elimination Chamber. And Bryan won. He just keeps on winning.

His dynamic with AJ keeps me interested in Smackdown. It’s different. Bryan was first dedicating his matches to AJ after she was taken out by the Big Show. Then she returned and Bryan showed her his appreciation. Each week, he’s been a jerk to her, but she continues her love. He does buy her dresses and coach her matches. The promos with them have been very entertaining.

Michael Cole has slowly shown some appreciation for Bryan. He used to just run his mouth about how Bryan was a geek. He ran his mouth about Bryan’s veganism, but now even he has to admit that Bryan deserves to be WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! YES! YES! YES! YES!

And the biggest surprise of his title reign has to be his promos.  Before Bryan came to the WWE, people said he didn’t stand a chance of going anywhere because he couldn’t talk. But Bryan has proven those people wrong. Very very wrong. (Start at 38:30 for promo)

But of course all good things must come to an end. Bryan has entered a program with Sheamus who is set to become the WWE’s next big thing. WWE has tried time and time again with Sheamus. He’s the Rumble winner. He rarely ever loses. And Bryan pinned him on Monday. Any wrestling fan knows that it’s curtains for Bryan’s championship reign. The Yeses will come to an end. The match will still be good. The Yesman will not disappoint. I can still appreciate all the good times that Bryan has given us. Thank you Daniel Bryan for a World Heavyweight Championship that completely absolutely DOES NOT SUCK!!

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Burn!

A lot of things piss me off in this world. But there are some very few things that don’t. The list of these things is very short. I am hard to please. I don’t demand any less than the best for me. What I’m trying to say is this thing talked about in this blog entry completely, absolutely, DOES NOT SUCK!!!!

  • What is it: God Hand

A Playstation 2 video game released in 2006. A 3D beat em up game that calls back to classics like Streets of Rage 2 and Final Fight. It’s a hard game.

Developed by now defunct game developing company, Clover Studio. God Hand puts you in the shoes of Gene, a martial artist who gets his hands on one of the legendary God Hands. Gene quickly learns that there’s a big down side that comes to owning the God Hand. People really want to kick his ass!

  • Why It Doesn’t Suck:

The current generation of video games are plagued by a variety of issues. Developers want to appeal the lowest common denominator so they’ve taken to making games easier and more accessible to the general public. Last summer I grew tired of the video games being put out on the Playstation 3. They didn’t appeal to me. They weren’t made to appeal to me. So I looked back to the last generation of video games.

Then I picked up this glorious game. I was hesitant because the game received a lot of flak in reviews. An idiot on IGN gave the game a 3.0. I almost didn’t get the game because of that. I ended up ignoring that ignoramus and picking it up anyway. That was one of the greatest decisions I ever made in my life. But let get down to what you really need to know. Why doesn’t this game suck?

He's actually not a gorilla. He's a demon in a gorilla costume in a wrestler costume.The Presentation.

Thank goodness for a game that doesn’t take itself so seriously. It seems all video games want to do today is be realistic and tell cinematic epics. BORING! What we need is less story and more ass kicking. God Hand delivers this perfectly. Every level is jam packed full of bad guys to pump full of punches, dragon kicks, and other attacks. The levels seem bare and the graphics aren’t breathtaking, but I don’t care. I love how the game doesn’t even bother to explain itself at times.

When I got to the gorilla wrestler mini boss, that was when I knew this game was the game for me. Throughout God Hand, you’ll plow through midgets, rock stars, demons, and tiger striped jerks. The game is like a cheesy kung fu movie. I always find myself chuckling as I play through it no matter how many times I get through it.

You find enemies dancing to the music of the level. You will even find fat ones sitting on people. This is a game where you can spank enemies.

The game is presented in such a bizarre way, I’m not surprised it went over the heads of game reviewers at the time who only wanted serious stuff. Shame on them for giving God Hand less than a ten out of ten! Shame! Shame!

Just look at how silly the debut trailer for it was.

The Music.

The theme song to this game is my top played track on last.fm.

 

I know all the words to it. I applaud Masafumi Takada for the effort put into this game’s soundtrack. It just sucks you into the experience. It’s wacky, goofy and it can get your blood flowing. I’m no musician but I think it does what it sets out to accomplish. There’s this one track that plays when an enemy randomly transforms into a demon. This one came up while I was listening to my music on shuffle and I felt a chill run down my spine. The music stayed with me long after playing the game. I sometimes hum it while waiting in places.

The Gameplay.

This is one of the few games where I replayed it directly after beating it. Sometimes I just randomly pop in the disc and find myself engrossed in it. There’s so many mechanics to the fighting engine. There’s so many moves. A variety of different enemies. And it has this awesome leveling feature, where it gets harder the better you do at it.

This game is hard. This game is ball-bustingly hard! It will kick your ass over and over again. You will die. But it’s fair. The level drops as you do worse. This leads to an exhilarating feeling as you get better and play on the harder levels. You can get in the zone and just whup a bunch of ass, but get humbled once it reaches Level Die. You have to watch gameplay videos to fully grasp it.
Here’s one for ya.

This game is everything that I want from video games. Loads of bosses. Loads of asskicking. A taunt feature. Different ways to go about a situation. There’s nothing I like more than taunting during a fight. The dodging feature puts a smile on my face. I love watching enemies’ blows hit the air as Gene weaves back and forth. I’ve woken up to my thumb moving up and down like when I play with my controller. I think I need may need help, but hey this game is still fantastic!

I love singing along with the theme song when I beat it. I love kicking people in the nuts! I love dragon kicking people into the Milky Way! I love punting midgets!  Once you get the gameplay down and start to enjoy it, there’s no experience out there on the market like it. Believe me. I know. I’ve been looking for it.

With Clover Studio being dead and Capcom being jerks, there’s no chance for a sequel. This saddens me but at least I got to play through this game.

This video game is a work of art. I thank everyone included in this for creating something that completely, absolutely DOES NOT SUCK!

Credit goes to the original artist

Yet Another Straight Edge Blog Post

It’s been far too long since I posted about my favorite subculture birthed from the 1980’s. What’s new with me and straight-edge? A couple of things. Ever since I’ve been straight edge, I’ve always been so confused about one thing. It’s the inane positive mindset that some of these people hold. I’ve read a few posts from straight edge groups here and there and it’s all this positive living garbage. It seemed almost as if straight edge was either full of people who completely accepted drinking and alcohol as a part of life and just didn’t wish to partake or violent gang members who will beat you to a pulp if he even smells smoke on you. I never encountered the latter online but everyone spoke about them.

I’m not the former for reasons I have explained before and I’m not the latter because beating people up isn’t my kind of thing. The pen (or the keyboard) is mightier than sword. Most of the posts I read were about guys who spoke about being designated drivers and taking care of their drunk friends. I couldn’t get into this at all. I couldn’t find a voice similar to mine. A dislike of drugs and alcohol not only for themselves but for others as well without a need to beat people’s heads in.

So I bought a book and I read it. The book was called Sober Living for the Revolution: Hardcore Punk, Straight Edge And Radical Politics. The book looked back at the history of straight edge. It had interviews and documents by band members, political activists, and other people who were all straight edge. It asked them each to define it for themselves. Thankfully I found that I was not alone in the way I felt. The book gives many different perspectives from across the world on straight edge and how it’s used by people for political agenda.

I really like reading about this subculture with a loose set of rules just evolving as it set across the planet. It meant different things to different people. Some saw it as anti-corporatism. In some places it thrived, in others it didn’t. Women had a different view of straight edge due to the way the hardcore scene treated women.

I fully recommend the book to anyone trying to understand the straight edge subculture. I don’t read books much these days, and I felt like I didn’t waste my time getting through this.

I really like how the originator of the idea just has no control over how people interpret what he’s said. Some people don’t even care what he thinks about it and they use this idea of sober living for their own end. There’s this one really good paragraph from a zine included in the book I absolutely love.

“Seriously, one of the reasons why living in a community that drinks constantly bugs me is that it makes conversation so damn boring! I can barely hang out in a large group without a conversation turning for a substantial period of time to drinking, getting fucked up, what so and so did when they were fucked up, how fucked so and so’s going to get , blah blah blah, Who fucking cares? Are people really so boring most of the time that they don’t merit conversation without corporate-induced altered consciousness? Can we really not think of anything interesting to talk about other than our self destructiveness? What about our dreams, our passions, our crazy ideas and schemes, our hopes and fears? I hate going to parties where intoxication numbs individuality into mush, so that I can have the same mindless banter with 100 people but not a conversation of any substance with a single person. Am I anti-social for staying home with one good friend or a book when that’s the alternative?”

Here’s a link to the rest of that section if you desire to read more. http://www.archive.org/details/TowardsALessFuckedUpWorldZine

For Eternity.

One of the least appealing things to me is the idea that there is life after death. I don’t want to live forever. I don’t live my life hoping to live forever. Things must come to an end and that’s the way I see life.

I can’t get behind this thought of dying and coming back on the other side and then existing for eternity. I know many people would want to see all their friends and family, but I wouldn’t want to. I’d have to deal with all of them for the rest of eternity. I can’t imagine being annoyed by family members for ever! It’s already annoying talking to some of them now. My dad would be complaining about how my life could have been so much better if I listened to him. Then I’d have to be introduced to my legions of dead ancestors. They wouldn’t be able to relate to anything I said, but they’d still talk to me. It would never end!

Not just family members, my friends would get annoying too. They’d want to hang out and since we never die, it’d never end. We’d run out of things to talk about. There would be nothing new other than what new friend died and eventually I’d run out of friends to die so nothing new would happen. It’d be awful to last forever and worse knowing that other people will last forever.

I gain a great satisfaction knowing that some people I meet will die one day. I don’t want them to pop up on the other side and continue being horrible for eternity. I want them finished. Never again to be seen by anyone! It’s something that I need to get through the day.

I’m not sure what they have in the afterlife.   I don’t remember reading anywhere if they had computers or even electricity.  I guess heaven is all clouds, angels, and harps. But that’s just one religion’s idea of an afterlife.

I’d be pretty pissed knowing how I died no matter how it was because someone somewhere in eternity would have died better than me. I’ll never get the chance to outdo that person. You know that guy would be bragging everyday about his awesome death and how no one could have died better.

It has to be crowded on the other side if it exists. A lot of people die every day. I think it’s close to almost 150,00 deaths a day! That has got to add up even if they have space. You know people would all crowd in one place. So you’d have to go there to see all your friends who are too stupid to go somewhere else.

I can’t think of anything appealing coming from the existence of an afterlife. I think in some religions, your every desire is fulfilled. Even that is lame. My every desire shouldn’t be fulfilled. Then the heck would I do? I wouldn’t be working toward anything. There would be no satisfaction. I’d get bored of everything within the first hundred years. I’m already tired of some things going on in my life and most of them have only been occurring for five years.

Nope. There’s nothing appealing about the afterlife. The worst part about it is you can never be done. You just keep going and going and going and…

Alright.

A positive mind can conquer anything. Dwelling on the past can lead to a person’s demise. Looking forward and keeping your head up is the right way to live life. Just ask Robert Walnuts.  Robert has always been a positive person since the age of reason. Even when he was a young boy, he knew that complaining and whining wasn’t the way to go through life. His parents raised him properly.

On his fifth birthday, Robert almost complained for the first time. It was his first birthday party. All his friends and family members were there to help him celebrate his lively five years.  He had told his mother that his favorite flavor of ice cream was vanilla and she should get vanilla cake for his birthday. That was all he wanted. But his mother misheard him. His parents gave him chocolate cake.  Robert looked down at the cake disappointed. Robert hated chocolate. He would rather have not had cake at all than eat chocolate ice cream cake. Everyone watched him as he was about to cut the first piece. All eyes were on him. He knew it was better to just eat the cake and not complain. As he ate the cake, he thought to himself. “Alright. This isn’t too bad.  Some kids don’t even get cake. I can’t complain. Next year I’ll get the cake I want.”

Robert went through most of his teenage years without a single incident of negativity. He coasted through school with straight Cs. He was alright with his grades. With each test, he passed, he let out a sigh of relief. The worse was now behind him. He helped his mother at home and never opened his mouth when he was asked to do chores. Robert never had a reason to complain about anything. Then she happened. Robert had taken a liking to one of the girls in his class. He wanted to take her to prom. He had had a crush on her for quite some time. Robert wasn’t the best looking fellow. He was portly and balding at age seventeen. He would try comb over his orange hair but it still looked pretty bad. He had no problem with it, but the girl did. Her name was Stephanie Stefanski. She was quite pretty. She had long blonde hair and eyes you couldn’t forget.

She thought she deserved better than a portly balding acne ridden boy. Stephanie was not a nice girl. Some would even go so far as to call her a bitch. Those people would be right. Stephanie had heard rumors that Robert was planning on asking her. She didn’t like this one bit. Robert thought he was in her league. He wasn’t. So she decided to play a cruel joke on him to teach him a lesson. When Robert asked her, she told him yes. Upon hearing this, Robert was the most excited he had ever been in his life. He told his friends. He told his parents. He even told his barber. He started exercising more so he wouldn’t be as portly. He bought himself a hat to wear at the prom. He needed to look his best for what could be the best night of his life. Prom night was going to be a night to remember for Robert but not for the reasons he thought it would be.

So then the night came. Stephanie said she would arrive at Robert’s house at 5:00 pm then he could drive both of them. Five became six. Six became seven. Robert grew worried. He called her house but there was no one there. He drove to her house and knocked on the door. There was no one there. Robert decided to go to the prom. Maybe she had gotten a ride with a friend and forgot to tell him. Robert would later wish he never went.

Robert drove to the prom.. He was late to the prom. He said hello to his friends and asked them if they had seen Stephanie. His friends told him that they hadn’t seen Stephanie yet but they would keep an eye out for her. They didn’t need to keep an eye out for long. Stephanie arrived shortly after Robert.

Stephanie arrived in the arms of another man. That man was Carl Delione. Carl was twenty three years old. He was a high school drop out with slicked back black hair and rock-hard abs. There was nothing portly about this man. Robert stared on as the two of them exited Carl’s car. The two embraced right before Robert’s eyes. It was here that Robert’s positivity almost ended. He wanted to walk over and yell at Stephanie for lying to him. He wanted to punch Carl in his pretty face and rip out his hair.

But he didn’t. He just whispered to himself, “Alright.” Then he went home never mentioning what happened to his parents or his friends ever again. It would be some time before Robert would try again at romance. It was about five years. He met Jane outside a grocery store. Robert almost ran Jane over with his car as he left the store. He promised to make it up to her by taking her to lunch.

The two of them hit it off. They both went to same college and they didn’t even know it. Their lunches became a regular thing. The two of them became quite the pair. Robert brought Jane home to his parents, but Jane refused to do the same. She never mentioned her parents. Robert was alright with this. He didn’t pry. He didn’t want to make her unhappy. Then Jane told him one day that she would take him to her house to meet her parents for dinner.

The “dinner” lasted five minutes. Robert got into the house and sat at the dinner table. Jane’s father demanded that Robert leave on the spot. Jane broke up with Robert the next day. She let him down easy. She wasn’t allowed to date men who weren’t Asian. She apologized to Robert. Robert shrugged his shoulders and told her it was alright. Robert had planned to ask Jane to marry him, but it was okay. He could always find another girl.

He didn’t. But his parents did. They found him his future wife. She wasn’t the best looking girl. She wasn’t a good cook. She’s wasn’t very bright. She didn’t even like Robert that much, but she didn’t want to be alone. That was a good enough reason for her and Robert to get married. Robert never felt much of anything for this woman. She was just there. She felt the same about Robert. The two of them were twenty six when they eloped.

Yesterday, Robert was eighty-six years old. It was his birthday. His positive way of living has been the same after all these years. Last week, the doctor told him he didn’t have long to live. Robert had inoperable cancer in his kidney that would kill him. Robert asked his doctor how this happened. Robert had always been a light drinker. His doctor didn’t have an answer for him. Robert just nodded his head as he was given his death sentence. He had lived a long life. Some people don’t even get to live this long. He had lived long enough and he was happy about that.

Robert’s birthday party was just like the ones that had come before it. There was a small gathering of his friends and family. Each year the gathering grew smaller and smaller. Robert had no children as his wife was barren. This year it was just him, his wife, and two of her nephews. All of Robert’s friends and coworkers had already moved on. Robert’s wife had gotten him a cake. They filled it up with eighty-six candles. Robert looked at this cake and realized this could be the last birthday he would ever have. His wife had gotten him chocolate cake. She hated vanilla cake and always got Robert chocolate for his birthday. Robert looked down at this cake. His last birthday cake and it was his least favorite flavor. He felt all the years of turmoil boil in him. He felt the anger from when Stephanie had played with him. He felt the frustration from being laid off his last job due to cutbacks. He felt the anguish from not marrying his dream girl. He felt the sheer rage of wasting his life with a woman who never cared for him. He felt the annoyance he didn’t let himself have at age six.

And then he felt the cold hand of death. It was quick and sudden, but it felt like an eternity. Robert was finally going to let the world know how he really felt. He was going to just lose it. But death took this from him. He gasped for air and collapsed on the ground. His wife shrieked. The world spun and started to fade out. Robert realized that this was it for him. He was never going to live another day. He would never get the vanilla cake that he wanted. He would never speak his mind. One last thought shot out before Robert left this world.

“Alright.”