I am an awful gift giver. I’ve never gotten my mom anything for mother’s day unless she complained the entire day and forced me too. I used to get cards when my parent (the one who wasn’t getting a gift) gave me like ten bucks. Once I got older, they expected me to get them gifts and cards. And I was awful at it.
I couldn’t even give my best friend a good gift for all her birthday parties she invited me with. I once wanted to give her this game I had got called Tales of Symphonia (pretty good game). I put it in a bag and I went off to the party. Then about 3 to 4 hours later, I would leave the party, get back home, and realize I still had the gift.
This happened like two years in a row. I always felt so bad so I would just play the game afterwards in some way rectifying it.
I haven’t gotten my parents any gifts for Christmas in years nor have I even tried to give them anything for their birthday. My mom tells me that because of my attitude I won’t get anything for my birthday.
Then she takes me out for dinner every time.
I never feel that bad though. I say “happy birthday” to them and I try not to bother too much. I don’t like the idea of a physical gift or even a card. It’s just a traditional thing that people expect to get. I feel like it just mean as much. I don’t expect to get gifts from people on special days. An acknowledgement of my birthday is nice but it wouldn’t be the end of the world if nobody said anything.
I do feel bad for my parents. It pains me to do inauthentic things like give gifts when I don’t really want to. They expect these things and are disappointed. It probably part of the major rift between us.
I know some people would say to just do it for the sake of the relationship. Do it to make them feel better.
I just can’t. It violates something in me. I feel horrible when I do gestures without meaning it.