Wasted.

I’ve wasted so much of my life sitting in classrooms because I’m supposed to. I’m supposed to go to school. I’m supposed to attend classes. I’m supposed to care about my grades.

It’s gotten to the point where I can’t do it. I can’t care about the 1940’s depression and how it affected women’s employment. I can’t care about how Lola Lago gets through another mystery. I just can’t. I pay so much money to just sit there and sometimes be interested in what is said. I hate the fact I have to take classes that I don’t want to.

I hate the fact that so many parts of the education system are just worthless. I’ve always hated the idea of having a standard for learning to begin with. A’s? B’s? I’ve never gotten satisfaction out of getting one over the other. If I get a 50 or a 100, it barely matters at all.

What matters is how much I learned. School is filled with nonsensical attributes to grade you on.

Class participation. What a grand concept this is. You answered a question? You added to discussion? Here have a higher grade. You missed a class? You answered a question wrong? I’ll have to take that away from your participation points.

This idea that participating helps learning is just dumb. Just because someone doesn’t raise their hand one day doesn’t mean you should penalize them. It just means they have nothing to add or perhaps they can’t add anything because it was said. This is the worst in classes where professors/teachers call on students randomly.

So let’s say you know the answer to a question but oh darn it, Sally Gillian answers it before you. Then the Professor looks at you and asks you a question that you just so happen to not know the answer to. Oh you got it wrong? POINTS OFF! That’s it. The points are gone.

Let me deconstruct the grading system next.

A, A-, B, B+? Why even have so much of this hoopla? Why not just Above Average, Average, Fail? It’s not like you get graded at your job. It’s not like it matters to your boss whether you give an A- effort or a B+ effort.  Do you know how many people get by doing subpar work and never get fired?

I despise tests in general as well. No standardized test has ever helped me learn anything other than a 4 hour test isn’t a good way to quantify someone’s skill.

In class tests and quizzes are supposed to help you show the professor you learned something. Interesting idea, but why should I ever care about how much someone else thinks I learned? If I didn’t learn it, oh well.

I’m breaking down in this place. I can’t take anymore of this useless poop. I’m wasting my life. I’m wasting my life. Precious months gone.

Was college a mistake? Should I just leave? Where do I go from here? I can’t take it.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe this will all be worth it.

Maybe someone in all this trash is the key to immortality….

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One thought on “Wasted.

  1. Welcome to the grand realization that our education system is bullshit. There are blankets and hot cocoa in the corner for your comfort.

    It’s all about the degree. If you want to actually learn you have to do it on your own.
    But that doesn’t mean time in class is wasted.

    I’ve actually gotten to the point where I’ll skip any class I can and go to the related tutoring room instead. It’s much more my pace (I need about two hours of tutoring to understand what’s normally covered in one lecture for any math or sciences), and I keep up with rest of the class.

    If it’s a class where attendance is taken, well… I half pay attention, half attend to shit online.

    But hey, maybe college just isn’t for you? It’s like that for some people. It’s hard to get places without that degree though.

    I hope you can find a situation you’re happy with.

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