O Harry….

SPOILER ALERT

I’ve seen a lot of Harry Potter related articles in the past few days. The books and the movies made ridiculous amounts of money.

And I just don’t understand why.

When I was a kid, I read Harry Potter. I’d zoom through each of the books in about 2 days. I was so excited to see Harry’s next tale.

But after I read the seventh and final one, I sat back and thought about the story I had finished. It wasn’t that great. I don’t understand the rabid fanbase.

What is the appeal? The main character?

Harry Potter is the most boring character in the books. Everybody’s more interesting than Harry.

We see everything from his perspective but he’s so damn boring.

There’s nothing to like about him. He’s inept at everything. He’s told what to do. And he ends up beating the bad guys by getting lucky in every book.

Hermione? Emma Watson and her eyebrows helped this character’s popularity that’s all I can say.

I disliked her in the books. She knows everything. It’s not interesting. She always has a damn solution. I was hoping they’d kill her in the last book so for once they would have to figure out shit without her, but nope! None of the main trio dies. What a load of bullshit.

Ron? This guy’s a bigger loser than Harry. He’s useless too.

Malfoy? He’s a racist bigot. Nothing appealing there.

Neville? He was a little bitch.

Siruis Black was the only character I really liked. He was a badass. He drove a flying motorcycle.  He escaped prison like a pro. Voldemort couldn’t touch him.

Then he had the stupidest death ever. He fell into a curtain.

Seriously.

What? That’s the best JK Rowling could come up with? The movie couldn’t even make it cool. I could come up with a better one right now.

He flies his motorcycle into Voldemort’s main base. He pulls out a gun which for some reason people don’t use in the wizarding world. He starts unloading on motherfuckers. Then one stray spell hits him. He’s slowly dying so he blows his motorcycle and saves everyone.

That’s much better than the slock JK Rowling put in Book Five.

Maybe the appeal just goes over my head.

Maybe killing off characters by having them fall into curtains is what people want….

 

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One thought on “O Harry….

  1. Don’t you know? Nothing that ever achieves mainstream popularity is ever really good. It’s the whole bell curve deal, the most mediocre things get the most popular. See: The Beatles.

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