People who tip are hypocrites.

You wouldn’t tip your doctor. You wouldn’t tip your surgeon. You wouldn’t tip your dentist. You wouldn’t tip your plumber.

You wouldn’t tip your Fed Ex Package Handler. You don’t tip your cashier. You wouldn’t even tip the cook who made the food.

You never look at your electric bill and say “Oh wow. I better add 15% because they deserve it for giving me good service.”

I spoke before about how tipping is ruined by society. What was once a customary thank you has become forced.

I’ve heard people walk away from bad service and say “Ha. I only gave him 10% tip.”

You shouldn’t give him any tip at all.

Now I’ve heard stuff like “But then he or she won’t get paid as much.”

Since when was that the customer’s problem? I don’t give a shit how much a person is being paid to bring me out food.

Don’t like the pay? Get a new job, dipshit.

Another argument I hear is “They stand all day.”

There are harder jobs than being a waiter like being the guy who has to clean out a porta-potty.I don’t see people leaving one dollar bills after leaving a steaming pile of crap.

I know you hypocrites don’t send fucking money to sweatshops for all the underpaid workers making the shoes you walk on.

This is a new form of hypocrisy. I shall deem it Tipocrisy.

You tipocrites are ruining the food industry. You’re creating waiters who will spit in the food of people who don’t tip. They won’t give as good service to someone who doesn’t tip as high as someone else.

It’s time for this to end. I want to enjoy my food without having to taste a loogie the waiter because I didn’t put down an extra five.

Also think about waiters in countries where they don’t tip. They don’t get paid as much. Anybody who’s taken a business class knows that by tipping, you’re destroying the economy. Tippers are the reason that we’re in debt today!

Be Smart. Think of others and don’t tip your waiter.

Yo Capcom! Why You Cancel Mega Man Legends 3?

I know it probably wouldn’t have gotten the Call of Duty audience. I know you’re so busy releasing better versions of games just 5 months after they came out. I bet that new piece of shit Resident Evil game is taking up a lot of your resources.

I understand that video games aren’t supposed to be fun anymore, but damn you guys really have a problem with my boy, Mega Man.

He’s not in Marvel vs. Capcom. He’s not even in new one coming out in November that has Phoenix Wright, a lawyer for christ’s sake! (Not that I hate Phoenix Wright). And you cancelled Mega Man Universe!

Look at this face.

 

How can you not not include this guy? People love classic Mega Man. He’s a little blast of nostalgia.

Now let’s talk about Mega Man Legends 3. I like new things in my video games a lot. also like seeing stories conclude.

Plenty of Mega Man Legends fans were excited when you announced a third title for the 3DS. When a game ends on a cliff hanger, fans really want to know what happened next.

Especially after ten years. They start to lose hope. But then you announced it was in development. But that you could cancel it at any time.

Then you cancelled it, Capcom. I’m trying to figure out why.

Did you cancel it because you couldn’t shove as much overpriced downloadable content on it? I understand Capcom. You want to make a profit. It’s all business.

You know what else is part of business? Marketing.

The 3DS has no video games. So you’d basically be the only game in town.People would buy up your new Mega Man Legends. You could increase demand by releasing a Mega Man Legends collection or some shit so little kiddies could get caught up.

You really spat in the faces of the Mega Man Legends fans when you blamed them for the game not being made. These are loyal fans. Why toy with their emotions like that?

Oh well. I guess it doesn’t matter. You’ll make a shitton of money off the Resident Evil and Street Fighter series so you can just tell your fans of other series to fuck off.

I won’t even ask about a God Hand 2…

Who needs friends?

They’re needy, whiny and worst of all they’ll stab you in the back when you least expect it.

I’ve had so many friends in my life time. And they’re all such crybabies.

Wahh! I can’t use the phone on the cruise! Waaah! My phone is broken! Wahhh! I have an average sized dick.

All such crybabies. I’d be sick of it if it wasn’t for the fact as a human being I desire interacting with others.

I guess my friends aren’t that bad, but they could be better.

I’ve tried to replace some of them with different people but it never works out. They all have their own hoozpah.

What do I mean by hoozpah? They’re all so different and I love just watching their lives unfold especially when I can see bad things coming from a mile away.

Talking to my friends and hearing their stories is like watching a sitcom where I’m one of the side characters.

Some friends are boring like the show, Firefly. They deserve to be ended early.

Others are so entertaining, I wish I could just follow them around and see them go through their day.

I think I could get a long fine without friends though. I often dream of a solitary life away from everything but that’s a blog post for a different time.

Who needs friends? Not me.

But I do like  having them around. Some of them are worth the effort.

Study finds that Alcohol and Recreational Drug Use is the root of all evil.

According to a recent study published by credible resources, recreational drug use has been linked to the cause of all problems in the world.

Researchers found that people who take drugs and drink alcohol aren’t the same as people who do not partake in such things. They may not even be considered human anymore. The researchers referred to them as monsters.

According to Terrell Owens, a doctor at some credible university, a person changes permanently after drug use.

“The signs of these changes can be detected easily. We gave a serial killer some cannabis to ingest. We then set him loose on the nearby city the next day. 14 people died. Each death increased in brutality. When we asked him why he did it, he said ‘Because I’m evil.'” Owens said.

They redid this experiment using more serial killers and different drugs such as alcohol and bleach. ” It was interesting to see how these murderers reacted. Most of them murdered innocent people mercilessly. Others told us they could stop. We poked them and threw rocks at them from our cars until they finally attacked someone. Truly evil at its worst”

“We then tried this out with lesser criminals. Most of them continued their crimes after taking drugs. Some haven’t yet, but we know they will someday”.

This came as no shock to one cynical college student from New Jersey. “I’ve told people for years that drugs were bad. The D.A.R.E. Lion told me so. Why would a lion lie to me? That’s just not in his character.”

The lion was not available for comment. Dr. Owens hopes that in the future people will see the benefit of not using drugs and alcohol.

“Drugs and alcohol are very dangerous materials and they will ruin your life, eventually. I’ve never taken any drugs or alcohol and look at me, I’m a doctor. Don’t you want to be a doctor?”

Punk Wins! Punk Wins! Punk Wins!

(Please go fuck yourself if you don’t like professional wrestling)

This moment really got to me. I complain every week while watching RAW. I know there are many people who are the same way.

The WWE has potential but they squander it. They rely on the same old stories week in and week out.

For once I shut up. I got behind a match.  I didn’t care that it was scripted.  I didn’t have anything to say.

I sat back and just took it in. And I was taken away by the pay per view. When CM Punk won, I jumped up in my room and started to dance.

I never dance. Ever.

That was real emotion. It was more emotion than I felt over any boring baseball game or Superbowl I’ve been forced to sit through.

Professional wrestling is very much real. I’m a fan today because of  pay per views like this

The WWE took chances for the first time in a long time. An internet favorite, Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank briefcase. He was a dark horse. I didn’t expect it. He’s a great wrestler who’s never had a bad match. I stood up when he won in disbelief and begin shouting.

I haven’t done anything like that since I was a kid watching John Cena matches back in 2004.

My father walked in and immediately knew that began yelling at me about how professional wrestling isn’t allowed in our house and that it’s changed who I am. He ordered me to shut off the wrestling.

His comments didn’t phase me. I turned down the volume and continued to watch.

Del Rio won another favorite of mine. Christian somehow walked away with the World Title which shocked me as well.

Then the main event came on. I had been looking forward to this match ever since it was announced.

The crowd exploded for CM Punk. I’m surprised he didn’t go deaf from the reaction. Cena received a deafening reaction as well except they were boos.

I can’t describe the match. You need to see it. You need to hear it. You need to feel the atmosphere.

When Punk won, my beliefs were shattered. The WWE had done the unthinkable. I never fathomed that one day they could reach the potential that they had been ignoring for some many years.

When the pin finished, I did my dance and then for the first time in a long time, I sat back and smiled. There was nothing better I could have asked for.

It was everything I desired. It fed straight into my soul and and satisfied the hunger for entertainment that been itching at me for so long.

WWE can fuck this up now for all I care. I had that moment and it’s all I wanted and needed to have.

O Harry….

SPOILER ALERT

I’ve seen a lot of Harry Potter related articles in the past few days. The books and the movies made ridiculous amounts of money.

And I just don’t understand why.

When I was a kid, I read Harry Potter. I’d zoom through each of the books in about 2 days. I was so excited to see Harry’s next tale.

But after I read the seventh and final one, I sat back and thought about the story I had finished. It wasn’t that great. I don’t understand the rabid fanbase.

What is the appeal? The main character?

Harry Potter is the most boring character in the books. Everybody’s more interesting than Harry.

We see everything from his perspective but he’s so damn boring.

There’s nothing to like about him. He’s inept at everything. He’s told what to do. And he ends up beating the bad guys by getting lucky in every book.

Hermione? Emma Watson and her eyebrows helped this character’s popularity that’s all I can say.

I disliked her in the books. She knows everything. It’s not interesting. She always has a damn solution. I was hoping they’d kill her in the last book so for once they would have to figure out shit without her, but nope! None of the main trio dies. What a load of bullshit.

Ron? This guy’s a bigger loser than Harry. He’s useless too.

Malfoy? He’s a racist bigot. Nothing appealing there.

Neville? He was a little bitch.

Siruis Black was the only character I really liked. He was a badass. He drove a flying motorcycle.  He escaped prison like a pro. Voldemort couldn’t touch him.

Then he had the stupidest death ever. He fell into a curtain.

Seriously.

What? That’s the best JK Rowling could come up with? The movie couldn’t even make it cool. I could come up with a better one right now.

He flies his motorcycle into Voldemort’s main base. He pulls out a gun which for some reason people don’t use in the wizarding world. He starts unloading on motherfuckers. Then one stray spell hits him. He’s slowly dying so he blows his motorcycle and saves everyone.

That’s much better than the slock JK Rowling put in Book Five.

Maybe the appeal just goes over my head.

Maybe killing off characters by having them fall into curtains is what people want….

 

Casey Anthony, Not guilty?

I’m no lawyer. I’m not a police officer. I’m just a guy who looked up some facts online.

I’ve seen this case get a lot of media coverage. It was insane. Every time I turned on CNN, they would have some segment about the Casey Anthony trial.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, a little girl by the name of Caylee Anthony went missing in June of 2008. Her mother, Casey Anthony did not report this for 31 days. Casey’s mother reported the girl missing to the police. She then lied to the police about leaving her daughter with a nanny who had kidnapped her. The police found that the “nanny” had never met Casey, Caylee or anyone in Casey’s family.Casey Anthony was then charged with several crimes including first degree murder.

In December of 2008, Caylee’s body was found in the woods near the Anthony residence. The death was ruled a homicide. You can read more about this at wikipedia which is where I’m getting this info.

I think plenty of people convicted Casey Anthony after hearing some of the details of the case. She lied to the police, she didn’t report her daughter missing, and she partied it up.

People wanted this lady dead. Not many believed in “innocent until proven guilty”

She was facing the death penalty if she was convicted of this crime. She was charged with first degree murder. This means the prosecution must prove that Casey planned out her daughter’s death and then followed through with that plan.

The major problem with the case is they never linked Casey Anthony to the death of this girl. The girl’s death is still unconfirmed because of the decay of the body.

That’s why the jury found her not guilty of the charges. She probably had a hand in it, but it takes more than probably to send someone to death.